The Promise Land!

It was the summer of 2009. I had been in seminary for a year, had open heart surgery, and was now volunteering at a summer day camp held at one of the local Lutheran churches for Refuge children while waiting for the fall classes to begin.

The children at this day camp lived in the Columbia SC area and all were sponsored by one church or another. A lot of the children couldn't even speak English. Most of them lived in a very run down trailer park in a high crime area of the city. I rode in the van to pick the kids up and I was reminded of my Social Work days going into the Projects checking on abused and neglected kids. These children looked a lot like most of my clients. How could these families still be living like this if churches were helping them????

It was lunch time and I looked around and saw one little girl sitting all by herself. I took my tray over and asked if I could sit with her. She nodded her head and I sat down. We ate in silence. When she had finished eating, she picked up a crayon and began to draw. She was from Mexico and was 10 years old. As she drew she told me her story. I want to share it with you! (Her name was hard to say, so I have forgotten it, which I am very sorry for, but her face will never leave my heart!)

(I am going to tell the story as if she was telling it; thus the "I" and "we" pronouns)

****I lived in Mexico with my mom, dad and two little sisters. My dad would leave for long times looking for work. My mom would do other people's laundry or try and clean houses, but there was no work. We lived in a wooden house without a door and dirt floors. It had two rooms and we went to the bathroom outside in the back yard in the dirt. My sister and I would have to cover it all up. It was one of our jobs. My mom couldn't pay all the bills and they would shut off our electricity and water.

My sister and I would take our clothes to the market and sell them so we could help her pay the bills. Sometimes we had to get into garbage cans to have something to eat.

We are Catholics and at night my mom would tell us about the Promise Land. She would tell us that one day we would all live in the Promise Land and have jobs, and get to go to school, and have plenty of food and not have to sell our clothes. She told us that one day we would be happy and never be sad again. She told us this Promise Land was America.

One night, my sister and I were asleep and our mom woke us up and told us to be very quiet. Outside was most of my family; uncles, aunts and lots of cousins. We couldn't take anything with us; not even my stuffed rabbit that I slept with all the time. Our relatives kept whispering that it was time to go to the Promise Land.

We made it to the water and I knew we had to swim to get there. The water was very rough and cold. I was trying to hold on to my uncle so my mom could hold on to my little sisters. My uncle could not swim and he finally let go of me and went under the water and drowned. Another uncle caught me and helped me in the water. When we got to land 2 aunts and some cousins had drowned.

We ran through lots of trees and bushes and got cut up a lot. But finally we were able to stop and rest. I was so hungry and wanted to go to sleep but they told me I couldn't. We kept going and going until we stopped at this house. We went inside and our family began to cry and thank God that he had brought us to the Promise Land where we would have money and food and clothes and a nice house to live in.******

At this point she stopped talking and I was doing all I could not to sob. I asked her if her life was different now? (remember I picked her up in the van from the run down trailer in the high crime area). She looked into my eyes and for the first time smiled. She said, "Oh yes! We live in a very nice house, and have food and water and I don't have to sell my clothes. My mom cleans "rich" people's houses and they will send her home with clothes for us and sometimes food. And the nice people at the church come and get us for Sunday School and we learn about how good God is to bring us to the Promise Land and tells us to be thankful for all that is being done for us."

THE PROMISE LAND! The United States of America....THE PROMISE LAND!!!!

So when you hear of those who want to ship the kids who are running to our country BACK...remember why they are coming here. It is NOT to deal drugs, steal jobs, or any other sundry of evil reasons (although I am not naive enough to think there is not that going on too)....they believe in their hearts what they hear and see....THIS IS THE PROMISE LAND! The Land of Milk and Honey! The Land where every one has a job, a house, food, clothing, education, and enough and more of everything you will need. AND everyone is HAPPY!

Yes, I am sure on any given day, this little girl feels she is in the Promise Land. Living in the run down trailer where there is a bathroom, running water and electricity is that Promise Land to her. Living where her mom can go to work (she never mentioned her father), and she and her sisters can go to school is the Promise Land. And yet, there are many who desperately want all the refuges/immigrants "to go back from where they came from." Too many of these people are the same ones who go to the churches that sponsor these families.Too many are followers of their Jesus.

Whenever I hear the debates over immigration, whenever I hear about the need to build huge fences around our country to keep all these blood suckers out of our country; I think of this little girl, drawing and tell her story to a white woman who does have more than enough, lives in a very nice place and has never been without what I needed to survive.

I thanked her for telling me her story and told her I was sorry about the relatives who had drowned that night trying to get here. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said nothing. Who wants to be somewhere bad enough that they will get in an ocean of water not knowing how to swim; trusting that god will get them there? Desperate people do that. Hungry, homeless, scared, desperate people do that.

The Goddess I know weeps!

Interesting enough; the next day this little girl did not get on the van and did not come back to the day camp. No one went to ask why or to check on her. I was told; "This is what Those People do." The Social Worker in me cringed. And I would ask over and over again: What would Jesus do? Don't you think he would go and check on her (remember I was in seminary)? I never got a clear cut answer and I was not allowed to go and follow up myself.

I think of this 10 year old child from Mexico and wonder if the Promise Land is all it was portrayed to be. And I reflect on the number of times the President and others in charge remind us that this is The Greatest Country on Earth. Yes, the Promise Land. And then I think about that great statue in the New Harbor. This is what she says:

 Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

(Poem on the Statue of Liberty)

Blessed be!

Reflecting or Being the Light?

In my part of the Forest it is the First Day of Summer; Summer Solstice; Litha! We celebrate the Longest day of the Year, even if it only means 5 seconds of more Sun! Ah...the Sun! Huge, fiery, missed when we have had days of rain (which we have not); can cause burns on our skin and lead to cancer. Ah...the Sun!

I was thinking about a discussion I had in seminary with my Missiology (the area of practical theology that investigates the mandate, message, and mission of the Christian church, especially the nature of missionary work) Professor. I made the comment in a paper that we live in a Dark World. He totally disagreed and this carried into the classroom for discussion.

You see, for me, the World is Dark. I worked in social work for 33 years and saw the Darkness; I marched against an unnecessary War in the 60's as I was seeing the Darkness; I lived through an emotional and sexual abusive marriage for 30 years and watched as my children suffered the results of this man's actions, words and beliefs; yep...Dark World!

The Professor (whom I adored!) said that the world was not dark as Jesus was the world. It was just that we have forgotten how to reflect his light into the world.

My position was that the World is Dark and We are to Reflect Ourselves into the World; Us who carry the Light, the Love and the Understanding of how we are to Treat one another and all of Creation. Of course, this did not bode well in a Christian seminary that I was saying that "I" have the Light and Love that the World needs.

Today as the Sun Shines with all Her Might down upon the Northern Hemisphere, I am thinking about Light. I am thinking about the World that has so much Darkness in it. And I am Thinking about all the Light and Love that is in the World but gets Smothered over by all the Constant Oozing of Hatred, Bigotry, Misogyny, Corruption, Abuse, Lies, Betrayal, War, and Self-absorption. I still hold that this is a Dark World, but only because Human Beings have Decided that Living in the Darkness is the preferable Way to live.

But WE Know differently! We the Witches know this is not true! We the Goddesses know that the Light comes from Within! We Are the Light and the Love! Those before the onslaught of Patriarchal Religion and Thought, always Knew this to be Truth. But when the Male God came into being; the message was one that we were the Dark Ones and only through him could we even begin to get a glimpse of any Light and Love and most of that would be after we leave this planet. And only believing in him could we even have hopes of being Good enough to be anything but Dark.

What a shame! What a terrible Shame! We do not Reflect the Light of a Divine Being...WE are the Light of the Divine! We are the Divine! And as such we Shine as Bright as the Sun.

So then why is the world so full of Darkness, Terror, Nightmarish Actions of the most Intelligent Creatures here on Earth? Why? Because we have Forgotten. We have been Brainwashes by those who wish us to Believe that we are the Scum of the Earth, we are the Dark Sinful Creations, even tho' WE are the only ones actually made in the Creators image. Makes my head hurt!

The Sun is Shining Brightly here in my part of the Forest and I think about the Light and Love that is Each of Us. I See it every Day and yet, it Never makes the News and seldom is the Topic of Sermons.

I see it on facebook as we each hold and support one Another as we Travel this World that wants to Convince us that it is a Dark Place. I see it as my Kale and Rosemary grow and the birds come and Dine at my Feeder. I see it as a Card shows up just at the right Time, and as my Son and Daughter sat with Me as the Sun was going Down and Love Poured out from Everywhere! I see it All around me, but others don't see it.

We must make sure we Re-member that Light! We must not be brainwashed any longer in  believing that this Forest, this Garden is Dark. For you see, just like the pilot light under the gas water heater, the Light burns even when it seems the Light has gone out. Look UP! In the Darkest of Nights, the Stars are there as is Grandmother Moon. Even if the sky if covered with clouds we can be assured that the Light is behind those clouds! We KNOW it to be true.

Accept the call of the Goddess to Shine the Light...don't wait for "something" outside of you to be there so you can Reflect it! That is a Lie! That keeps us trapped in the Darkness. Light the Candle within you! And if you feel your Light has Gone out or the Oil is running Low; be Assure it has not, but Reach out to Someone you Know who will Relight your Light; Reach out to your Pet, your Loved one; reach out to Goddess for She is the One Who lit the Light inside of you in the First Place!

Blessed be on this day we celebrate the Sun! 

This is What Sisterhood Looks Like!

This morning I was on my walk and noticed an older woman walking slowly in front of me. I noticed that every now and then she would lift her glasses and wipe under her eyes. A sure sign she was crying.

As I passed her, I slowed down and asked if she was ok. She could not talk, but continued to cry silently. I waited until she got her herself together and she began to talk.

Her best friend, Cindy's, Mom lives in my complex and had a stroke last week and she is unable to live alone any longer. Patty and Cindy have been friends since they were 12 years old and now they are both 66. Patty lives in Oklahoma and Cindy in Texas. So when Patty got the call, she hopped on a plane, flew to Texas and then drove to South Carolina with Cindy to help her make decisions for her Mom.

This is what Sisterhood looks like.

The choice of Mom being here in a nursing home is out as she does not qualify (makes too much in Social Security...not sure I knew that was possible, but anyway...). The cost for assisted living is not affordable either.

So two options are now on the table: Mom goes home with Patty and lives in the mother-in-laws apartment. Or she goes home with her daughter, Cindy and she finds assisted living in Texas. Then the question is whether to fly her to either place or to drive her. Lots of considerations on the Table.

This is what Sisterhood looks like.

Patty said she got up with a heavy heart and decided to walk outside to see if she could hear God's will. She spoke a lot about trusting in God, God's plans, etc. I knew from her language she was Christian.

After she talked for awhile, I asked if I could pray with her. She was so thankful; and there in the middle of the street two Sisters, having only just randomly met, prayed to the Divine for clear discernment.

This is what Sisterhood looks like.

After the prayer, Patty asked me, "What church do you belong to?" Now, I knew this was not the time or place to disclose to this woman that she had just been prayed for by a witch. So I said, "I do not go belong to a church here." She was shocked and said, "oh but you must!" I told her I was raised Lutheran, but felt that "God" had told me to find "him" in nature right now.

She then began to tell me she had been Southern Baptist and she and her husband were now Nazarene and how much Bible Study they do and how I really needed to go to church.

She then said this while pointing her finger at me, "The reason we must go to church is so that God can reprimand us, teach us and let us know that what we are doing is not right. We can do what we want for 6 days, but on Sunday is the time we have to go to church so God can get right in our face and straighten us out."

From her point of view I guess this is what Sisterhood looks like. She cared about my right living.

I smiled and told her that I really was glad that we had this Divine Appointment and that I would keep her and her friend and her mother in my heart and I knew that God would show them the right path to take. She hugged me and we said good bye.

This IS what Sisterhood looks like.

Two women sharing an intimate moment in the middle of the street in the Forest! Right there in the midst of the Divine and all that was fresh and green and lush! I know she was sure I was a Christian and that is ok; it is part of my heritage. What is important is that in this moment I listened to Goddess and stopped to help a Sister who needed to talk to someone not connected with her situation; someone who was there in a sweaty tank top  and shorts, who paid attention to the signs of another Sister. And it was important to me that she Honored me by inviting me into her Story. That is Trust.

That is what Sisterhood looks like!

I came home and placed a ribbon on the Prayer Trellis for each of them. I know that these two Sisters not related by blood will make the best decision for Cindy's mom. How do I know?

That is what Sisterhood looks like!

Blessed be!

We are too much like the people of Oz!

Walking is Cathartic for me and I often am amazed at what comes flowing through the waves of this old brain. Sometimes it is pretty mundane; sometimes very sad; sometimes happy and a lot of times just plain surreal.

But then there are mornings like this when a scene from a movie pops up right in the middle of my conversation with Self and Goddess.

So, I was musing about how quiet social media has gotten now that 2 weeks have gone by since the misogynistic driven killing happened. This led me to remember 9/11. I was fully involved in the Christian Church at that time and remember people flocking to church during the week for prayer and consolation; for a desire to understand what happened and to ask their God to help us revenge this horrible killing. The pews were packed as were the weekly prayer services. It was happening to all Christian denominations, Jewish and Buddhist temples. People were showing up in droves waiting for the Pastor/Priest/Rabbi to give them words from the Divine One!

And then within a few months, if that long, the people went back to their lives and the religious buildings were once again less than full.

In popped a scene from The Wizard of Oz.

Dorothy and her friends are in the Green Castle where the People of Oz live with the Wizard in Charge! They have just gotten all dolled up so they would look presentable to the Wizard and all of a sudden there in the Sky the Wicked Witch of the West is writing Surrender Dorothy! Do you remember?

All the people run to the entrance to the Wizard, in fear with questions as to the meaning of this event. As they gather, the Guard of the Door, quiets them:

  Here -- here -- here -- wait a minute!
          Wait a minute! Stop - stop - stop! It's
          all right!

                    GUARD
          Every -- It's all right! Everything is
          all right! The Great and Powerful Oz has
          got matters well in hand - I hope -- So
          you can all go....

                    GUARD
          ...home -- and there's nothing to worry

and assures them that the Wizard has everything under control and they are to now go home. And they all turn and go back to their activities.

That is what happened after 9/11. We all went back to what we were doing and trusted that Someone had it all under control so we could go about our selfish lives.

This happens over and over again, does it not? That is why we keep fighting the same battles over and over again. That is why some of us continually say "wait; this is cropping up again; didn't we already take care of this?"

And so, it happened after Columbine; after Va Tech shooting; after the Theater mass murder; after Sandy Hook; after.......do you get the picture. So after the most recent mass murders, once again the debates began about gun control, mental illness and now misogyny has come to the surface as it does when we battle reproductive rights after some political person makes horrible comments or another abortion clinic gets closed down.

And after a few days, we all seem to go back to our lives of making money; keeping house; going to school; raising children; playing sports; etc etc etc.

But in the Wizard of Oz; Dorothy, Scarecrow, Tin Man and Cowardly Lion would not give up. They stayed and did not leave when the Guard told every one to do so. They had a mission; they had problems to solve; and they, led by Dorothy, would NOT stop until they saw the Wizard. But if you notice; everyone else left and went home.

And that is what we do as human beings. Maybe it's because we think "someone" really is taking care of it. Or maybe "it" is way too overwhelming and it is easier to just stop thinking about it. Or maybe this is the way we are conditioned to deal with The Journey. We want Something to happen, but not if it interferes with OUR OWN PERSONAL AGENDA! And of course, we love the BLAME game!

It is interesting to see how quickly people now play the Mental Illness card during these horrific acts. "Oh we really can't do anything about this because he was mentally ill. Guns don't kill people; mentally ill people kill people." And so the right wing protects their precious guns and the left wing protects their mentally ill. And the rest of us go about our business cause the Guard of the Wizard assured us it would be taken care of. We scream and yell our individual positions on social media and then it becomes old news and we get back to our own lives.

Oh, but then the next murders come and we are SHOCKED that this has happened again and we rush to the "Wizards" in our lives (FOX and CNN; churches; facebook; Twitter, etc) but then we "go back home" until the next situation shows itself!

Doesn't this make you tired? It does me and I was exhausted at the end of last week. I am so done watching this cycle go on and on and on. I get tired of thinking of all the sit-ins and peace and civil rights marches I participated in. I get tired of thinking how many years I have been a Voice for Women's Rights; Children's Rights, etc. It's been a long road.

BUT I am too much like Dorothy! I will continue to push the "Guard" at the Door until He lets me in to see the Wizards! How about you? What if we all refused to "go home"? What would that look like? Well, I hope to one day see it happen; and soon!

I'll see you at the Door!

 

The Goddess' Falcon!

I went to see Maleficent last night and have once again been changed by 98 minutes of watching a Disney film. I will not be giving away anything here, in fact I am not even going to say anything about the movie. What I will say is that it brought back a memory of a piece I had written in 2003, shortly after leaving my husband of 30 years. I was reading a Rumi poem, which I present 1st and it inspired my response to the story; My Story. I have revised it to use Goddess language as at that time I was still in the chains of the Patriarchal Church. In fact, it makes more sense to me now, changing the language and the ending. Blessed be! (Bob is the name of my ex-husband)

The King’s Falcon

Rumi

The king had a noble falcon who wandered away one day,

and into the tent of an

old woman, who was making dumpling stew for her children,

“Who’s been taking care

of you?” she asked, quickly tying the falcon’s foot. She

clipped his wings and cut

his fierce talons and fed him straw. “Someone who doesn’t

know how to treat falcons,”

she answered herself, “but your mother knows!” Friend,

this kind of talk is a prison.

Don’t listen. The king spent all day looking for his

falcon, and came at sunset to

the tent and saw his fine raptor standing on a shelf in

the smoky steam of the old

woman’s cooking. “You left me for this?” The falcon

rubbed his wings against

the king’s hand, feeling wordlessly what was almost lost.

The falcon is like one who,

through grace, gets to sit close to the king, and so thinks

he’s on the same level as

the king. Then he turns his head for a moment and he’s in

the old woman’s tent. Don’t

feel special in the king’s presence. Be mannerly and

thankful and very humble. A

falcon is an image of that part of you that belongs to the

king. Once there was a blind

falcon who fell in with owls in a wilderness. They thought

he wanted to take over the ruin

they were living in. They tore his feathers. “Wait, I

have no interest in this

place. My home is the forearm of the king. “The owls

thought this was some kind

of bragging trick to distract them. “No! I don’t claim

to be like the king. I am

a ragged, blind falcon. All I can do is listen for

the king’s drum and

fly to the sound when I hear it. I am not of

the king’s species or genus,

but I have taken in some of the king’s light, the way

air is swept up into a fire,

the way water becomes plant. My ego has died into

the king’s being. I roll in

the dust at the feet of his horse. Don’t let this

blind-falcon form fool you.

I am really a delicious dessert that you should taste

now, you owls, before

I hear the drum again, because then I’ll be gone.

The Soul of Rumi by Coleman Barks  pg 66

The Goddess’ Eagle

My Story

(originally written 4-6-03; revised 05-31-14)

The Goddess had a noble Eagle who Wandered Away one Day, and into the Apartment of Bob. “Who’s been Taking Care of You?” he asked, quickly tying the Eagle’s Foot. He clipped Her Wings and cut Her Fierce Talons. “Someone who doesn’t Know how to Treat Eagles,” he answered himself, “but I Know! I will help you Reach your Potential and Find YourSelf!”

Friend, this kind of Talk is a Prison. Don’t Listen! Goddess spent All Day (years) looking for Her Eagle, and came at Sunset (my sunset) to that House and Saw Her Fine Eagle Standing on a Shelf in the Smoky Steam of Bob’s Cooking. “You left me for This?” The Eagle Rubbed Her Wings against the hand of the Goddess, Feeling Wordlessly What was Almost Lost!

The Eagle is like one who, through Grace, gets to sit close to the Goddess, and Knows She is on the Same Level of the Goddess. Then She turns her Head for a Moment and She’s back in Bob’s apartment.

Don’t feel Special in the Presence of the Goddess. Be mannerly and Thankful and Humble. An Eagle is an Image of that Part of You that Belongs to the Goddess; to Your Own Inner Female!

Then there was a Blind Eagle who Fell in with Owls in a Wilderness. They thought She wanted to Take over the ruin they were Living in. They Tore Her Feathers. “Wait I have No Interest in This Place. My Home is the Forearm of the Goddess."

The Owls thought this was some kind of Bragging Trick to Distract them. 

“No, I don’t claim to be the Goddess for I am a ragged, blind Eagle. All I can Do is Listen for the Goddess’ Drum and Fly to the Sound when I Hear it. I am of the Goddess’ species and I have Taken in Her Light the Way Air is Swept up into a Fire, the Way Water Becomes Plant. My Ego has Died into the being of Goddess. I roll in the Dust at the Feet of Her Horse and She Lifts me to Ride with Her. There I find My Voice! Don’t let this Blind Eagle Form Fool You!”

I am really a Delicious Dessert that you should Taste Now, you Owls, before I Hear the Drum again, because then I’ll be Gone. 

Pg 350 from Rumi:

The inner nature of the white falcon is strong and

Determined. Her anger builds,

And suddenly she pours the ladle of hot soup over his head.

Tears come from those beautiful

Falcon eyes. He remembers his former life, the king’s love

Whistle, the great circling

over the ocean, the distances that can condense so quickly

to a point. Falcon tears

are food for a true human being, perfume for Gabriel. Your

soul is the king’s falcon

who says, This old woman’s rage does not touch my glory

or my discipline. I must be

quiet now.

 

Deb’s Response:

The Inner Nature of the Eagle is Strong and Determined. Bob’s Anger Builds, and Suddenly he pours the Ladle of Hot Soup over Her Head.

Tears come From those Beautiful Eagle Eyes. She Remembers Her Former Life, the Love Whistle of the Goddess, the Circling over the Ocean, the Distances that Can Condense so Quickly to a Point.

Eagle Tears are Food for True Human Being, Perfume for the Goddess; Perfume for the Inner Female Voice.

Your Soul is the Goddess’ Eagle, who says, “Bob’s rage does not Touch My Glory or my Discipline.”

Fly I did and Fly I always Will!

This Woman’s Rage……

Will Never Ever be Quiet………..

False Evidence Appearing Real

This is a follow up to my last blog post about my family members being uneasy when they are on a plane with Middle Eastern looking people. I received a lot of comments both on the blog and on facebook and a few privately about me needing to understand where they are coming from and "the state of world." I appreciate all comments and conversation and never ever desire that every one think, believe or act the way that I do. But I still stand on my opinion of profiling and judgment.

I have been thinking a lot about these comments and then the mass murder spree happened this week. Another disturbed individual took it upon himself to act out his anger by taking a gun and mowing down people.

Goddess and I have had a lot to talk about this week.

Last Friday night, I was taking my parents home from eating dinner out for my Dad's 81st birthday. When we drove up, Mom noticed a medium sized snake on the sidewalk to the front door (we enter through the garage where the cars are parked). My Mom began yelling at my Dad to get the shovel and cut the snakes head off and Kill it. She was Terrified and we were still in the car. I told her that I would get it away and we were not Killing the snake. She began to Shake in Terror and argued until I could get her out of the car and into the house. I then asked Dad for the  water hose and we pushed the shake back into the forest away from the house without killing it. Mom was not happy with me at all that evening; terrified that the snake would come back.

When I got home I kinda laughed to myself. I imagined this snake being a scout, sent out by the terrorists snakes to see who was home so they could attack. Now, don't get me wrong, I totally understand being afraid of snakes, and I know this was a copperhead and given enough provocation could have struck and caused problems for each of us, BUT I began to wonder: Why is our first instinct to KILL the perceived "enemy"? Why? Because we can! We have the Power, the Control and the Entitlement to Kill the poor snake that was minding its own business not even understanding that it was trespassing on my parent's property. Thus, reason for Killing the intruder.

Ok, so what does this have to do with the follow up to my last blog post? I am getting to it.

As I was walking this morning I began to think about FEAR. I began to really think about how much we are all AFRAID these days. We are afraid we will get Cancer, lose our jobs, be blown up in a plane by a Middle Eastern looking man, be raped, have our homes foreclosed on, be vandalized, get Alzheimers, etc etc etc........

When I was a Christian, I believed there was this Satan who existed, and this Satan caused all the evil things to happen in the world. Heck, when my husband was at his worst I blamed Satan for getting inside of him instead of holding my ex responsible for his abusive behavior. Satan...evil....

Well, I no longer believe in this Satan, but I do understand that there is a Negative Force that permeates our lives and this morning on my walk I realized it is FEAR! We live Afraid! But we choose what to be afraid of. We choose it because we listen to what the Media tells us and what our Government tells us and what our Religion tells us and what our Medical professionals tell us, what our Talk Show Hosts tell us, we are to be afraid of.

And then because we are Human Beings; the most Powerful, the most Intelligent, the most Wonderful beings on the earth we use our sense of Power and Control and Entitlement to deal with our FEAR how ever we wish to do so. If that means cutting off the head of a snake minding its own business or shooting 7 women or blowing up airplanes or abusing children; then so be it. It is our right to do so because we are going to "get them before they get us"! It is our Right; we are entitled not to be afraid, to protect ourselves and our loved ones at all costs. But the funny thing is, we only become more Afraid.

FEAR to me is the great "evil" in the world. The young man who went on the shooting spree was AFRAID of the rejection and of never having a woman have sex with him. The 9/11 Terrorists were AFRAID of the power that this country wields. Men are AFRAID of loosing their Rightful Position of Power, the Church is AFRAID of those who don't think like them, etc etc etc.

It is FEAR....False Evidence Appearing Real....that keeps us in this mindset of "if every one had guns then when someone starts shooting we can shoot back." It is madness....it is FEAR!

And those in "Power" thrive on instilling that fear on the masses. The Church does it with the FEAR of Hell and Damnation. The Government does it with the FEAR of....oh you name it and they instill FEAR! Hey I remember being scared shitless as a child of the mean ol' Soviet Union. I got that FEAR because every few weeks we had bomb drills and we had to either get under our desks or sometimes we had to run home as fast as we could. I was so scared and I didn't even know who Mr. Russia was.

I choose not to be AFRAID! I choose not to be looking over my shoulder at every one trying to discern if they are a danger to me or not. Yes, I am alert. Yes, I am aware of my surroundings (I am a retired social worker for Goddess sakes....). Yes, I understand that there are people who make horrible choices that may in fact put me or one of my loved ones in danger. But I am also an intelligent woman. And just seeing a "Middle Eastern looking" man on a plane is no evidence that he is going to blow up the plane. And just seeing a snake on the side walk does not mean it will slither over as soon as I get out of the car just so it can bite me.

In this day and age of Mass Media; 24 hour news access and good ol' facebook we are never without something to be Afraid of. And that my friend is so very very sad. And I often wonder if a lot of our "mental illness" is just not the result of living in this Madness day after day after day!

So, I stand by my last blog post, that it is a sad statement that we live our lives in this way; Profiling and Judging and as a Result live in FEAR.

Take a step back and really look at what we are all Afraid of. We are Afraid of loosing Power and Control. That's what it is all about really! Cancer takes away our Control over life; the Terrorist takes away our Control of peaceful living; the Church takes away our Control over our own decisions in this lifetime; and the Government...well, that's a Blog for another Time!

Peace, Love and Not Being Afraid!

Really? Is this not 2014?

I promise not to Rant! I promise not to throw judgment! I promise not to make this a bigger deal than it is! Maybe!

Last week I was out with family members having dinner.  It was a nice time.

The conversation turned to a vacation that was recently taken and the story went something like this: As they were waiting for the doors of the plane to close, they noticed a "Middle Eastern Looking Man" leave his seat in the front and walk slowly to the back of the plane where he opened a compartment and then sat in an empty seat. They were aware of him because he looked Middle Eastern. Then another "Middle Eastern Looking Man" got up from the front; walked to the back; nodded to the other man and went into the bathroom. They wondered if they needed to report this suspicious behavior to anyone. I of course asked, "what suspicious behavior?" Well, that led to one of my relatives, who flies many times a week to say, "I am always nervous when a "Middle Eastern Looking Man" is on the same flight as I am. That led to others agreeing.

Of course, I was boiling inside, and really decided I was most assuredly adopted even tho' I look just like my parents.

So, very calmly I said, "Interesting, I too am nervous and cautious. But it is when a "White Male" gets on the plane since almost all of the "Terrorists type" attacks since 9/11 have been by White American Males."

I was ignored; cause you see I am the hippie, tree hugging, Gay and Black and Middle Eastern looking~~ loving, War hating, RadFeminist, probably Lesbian, pagan witch of the family. I am sure they all wish I was adopted!

What a sad sad conversation this was for me to listen to. Really? This is 2014 isn't it? We already fought to get rid of ethnic profiling and embrace equality of human beings way back in the old days of the 60/70's right?

Well, I must say we can do a lot of blaming. When I told this story to a young woman at work her comment was, "it's the media's fault!"

NO DAMN IT! It is NOT! It is our fault. We should know better.

But alas, it is the State of our Patriarchal Mindset that looks at everyone as the Enemy, unless they look, act, talk, and believe just like us and then you can't be too careful!

So, this was on my mind as I was shopping in Harris Teeter after work. I really wanted a piece of pizza for dinner. I have been so good with my eating of late and that sounded like a great way to cheat a bit.

Oh wait, sorry...I was thinking about this conversation when after getting my pizza I watched as the lady behind the counter threw two large pizzas into the trash can. They cannot sit out longer than 2 hours. Then they have to be thrown away.

I thought of all the hungry people right here in Charlotte NC. I thought about all the Muslims who just want to get on a plane and go to their destination. My nephew just wants to be in love with his boyfriend and not be harassed or denied a marriage license if they decide to get married. And me?

Well, I just want to see the Age of Aquarius before my life is over here on this Planet. And to that end I will continue to call out the lady in the salon who stopped watching HGTV because of all the gays and I will remind people that Catholic Priests and other Religious men have terrorized more children then the number of men who blew up the planes of 9/11. And I will do this until I take my last breathe.

But then again, I am a hippie-tree-hugging, Gay, Black, Middle Eastern looking~~ loving, RadFeminsit, War hating, pagan witch! Goddess I love being ME!