Saturday, December 20, 2014
Rewriting our Story!
On this Yule Eve, I have been thinking about my past and the past of so many others, who graciously share Journey Stories with me. It is amazing how many have Stories that are not ones we would choose to be apart of. If only we could take a few chapters out of our Life Story and replace them with the Rockwell pictures we see of happy times and happy families.
But alas for a large majority of people, especially women, we have way too many Chapters that we not only wished we had never lived but that we wish others would never know about. And as such we choose to try to keep that old closet shut up and try to "put on the happy face."
At 62 years of age I have become aware of something that I want to blog about.
How do we Reframe or even Rewrite our Journey Stories?
Is it even possible?
When I say that to some women, they will say, "no, that means I have to 'get over it' and I am tired of people telling me that." Does it have to mean that? Because you see, I am not sure we ever "get over" those things that have left deep imbedded scars. I think this is when we rewrite the Story.
I have deep scars from being married to a sociopath narcissistic man for 30 years. Deep deep scars. For too many years after I walked out from this marriage, I would only remember those times that caused the scars. I tried so hard to heal them, but as we know, the very essence of a scar is the visual reminder of injury that does not go away; it may fade but does not go away.
At this time of year; Holidays; it seems these scars, these memories come a visitin' just like unwanted friends and relatives. They come as the Darkness invades our lives, the cold keeps us inside, and our dreams of different Chapters in our Story are confronted by all the happy, happy, joyful sounds and pictures of more than ideal relationships and lives.
I choose not to Replace but to Reframe! I choose not to Delete but to Define! I choose to Rewrite that which I had no control over Writing at the Time. But now...you see....now I can write my Story any way I want to, because it is MY Story and I have complete control over the Pen!
This was hard work and every now and again, I find that wadded up piece of paper from a Rewritten Chapter again in the Book. When this happens I have to tear it out again and say good bye and no thank you! It now is an unwanted Gift. It has been awhile since those pages have shown up.
What would your story look like when you Rewrite It? Mine does not look like those Norman Rockwell pictures I can tell you! I don't want a life where there was only happy, easy peasy times. I am who I am because of the hard times, the hurtful times, and even the abusive times. And in that way, I totally Reframe the Story. It is what the Scars now look like for me! It is the Story I choose to tell around those Scars; not denial stories, but stories of what I learned, what I have taught others and how I am a braver, more empowered woman as a result! The Story is not "their" victory but mine! The Story is not "their power and control" but mine! The Story is not "their" anything! It is all mine!
So find time during these Dark Nights to begin writing a New Story for you! And then share it with others. I am! And I will be doing more of this in the coming years. At 62 I have less time to Reframe, Rewrite, and Redefine...so I have to get busy! We are all in this together.
Blessed be and much love!