Tuesday, March 3, 2015

I am Grandmother Moon!

I have had a connection with Grandmother Moon since I was a small child. I loved looking at her and wondering what it would be like to stand on her and look down at the earth. It felt powerful and amazing and was the reason I considered being an astronaut when I was a teen. But of course, that was not a field that women were invited into in the 60's!

As I got older, I related the Moon to my menstrual cycles. Not enlightened enough to really connect on a deep Goddess level, but I still had that connection.

As I fully embraced the Pagan Witch path, I began to understand Pulling Down Her Energy, charging Crystals and Dancing in Her Fullness, and Resting in Her Darkness.

This week, I finally understood how my life imitates the Cycles of the Moon. I have moved from Full to Dark to Full again in a months time.

As most of my witch sisters can attest, this MoonShine has been mostly covered in clouds the past few weeks. It has been a hard few months, but this past month brought everything into full stress and anxiety mode and I went into a funk.

The month began with the knowledge that I would indeed have my book published thanks to Ibby Greer and CreateSpace! This is the woman I have been asking Goddess to bring into my life as I knew nothing of self-publishing! I was on such a high! I was beaming with the Full Moon Light!

As the weeks went on, I had an aunt and a 41 year old cousin transition within a week of each other. Both funerals had many examples of the lack of compassion on the part of those conducting the funerals and I was upset. I let it embrace me and drag me down into the depths of sorrow not for me, but for those who were left behind.

I also found out I have to have more intensive gum surgery before I can continue with the implants. I see my hard earned money growing wings and flying out of my bank account by the thousands. I don't want more pain and I would love to have my money back. But health issues are just that and have to be taken care of.

I found myself moving more into the Dark Phase of the Moon.

Finally last week...I felt all the Light drain out of this One who goes by Sunshine! And my facebook posts reflected this Dark Time. I began getting messages from sisters making sure I was ok, and a few said they didn't like when I was like this as I was the one they could count on to have the bright outlook on life!

This has been a blessing and a burden for as long as I can remember. I am the Light bearer, I look for all the silver linings and I reflect them to others. But what comes with that, is feeling guilty when I wane to Dark Moon. I do NOT like being Debbie Downer! Debbie Sunshine is my name and my mission and my gift!

But this month, I realized, I made the journey from Full, to Waning, to Dark, to Waxing and now to Full again. And it is OK. It is more than OK. It is human! And I believe it is also Divine.

As pagans we look to the world for our Teachings. This was my Teaching this month. Grandmother reminded me that I must be more aware of how much a like we are. It does not mean I have to have a pity party each month. What it means to me, is that when I feel the Dark Moon arising, I need to rest in that, soak in the Dark and make friends with all that comes to me at that time,; be it anger, tears or just plain sadness. JUST BE!

In two days, Grandmother will be Full and I am feeling the Light coming back into my very being.

Do I still have to have dental surgery, yep!
Does it still mean I have to pay for it, unfortunately yes!
Does it mean that those who were at the funeral need to heal themselves and find a way to walk through grief and loss themselves, yes!
Does it mean I can do anything to help? yes! I can send cards and send the Light to them for I know the funeral is over and all that stuff doesn't matter any longer! I can leave all that with Dark Moon Time!

So thank you to everyone who sent their love and compassion to me and my family during this Moon Transition!

It has been quite a journey! But once again, I just gotta Love how Goddess Teaches! I just wish the Lessons weren't so painful!

Blessed be!


  1. Though, of course, I wish you didn't have to endure so much pain, I am so glad you have realized that it's okay for you to take a break, be sad, be angry and to work through that. I think you helped a lot of people who witnessed the whole process. When you're a healer, it is difficult to hit a dark spot and feel that you don't have that healing to offer in the way you are used to. Yet, you did offer healing as others watched you work through the pain so beautifully. I am so excited about your book!!!