Saturday, November 16, 2013

Wounded Maiden and Night of Hekate!

I took my walk as usual through the bit of forest here in my apartment complex. I am so blessed to have a path to the Lake and a path through a densely wooded area between apartment complexes! I don't know that I could breathe here without mountains if I did not have these two sacred places! But alas this is not my story tonight!

The Path is now covered in leaves and it rained last night. So, I was delighted to stand and breathe in that very familiar fragrance: wet leaves in the cool crisp air of Fall. And it took me back: it took me back to my childhood!

I remembered Dad raking up the leaves and us running and falling in them!
I remembered walking through the Forest (yes, we actually lived at the base of Mill Mountain in Virginia and thus had "real live woods!) in the Fall and loving the Fragrance and the Sounds of the Leaves!

Today as I stood in all the glory of Fall I realized that I did not have a Wounded Childhood! I did not have Inner Child Issues! I am one of the very fortunate Women! And for that I am very very grateful!

As I stood in all the Glory of Autumn I realized I was a Wounded Maiden.

You see today also is the anniversary of the Day I walked out of an emotional and sexual abusive marriage of 30 years. On this day 11 years ago; my daughter and I moved out and into our own apartment; I was 50 and she was 18! And we could breathe! At last we could breathe and begin our Journey toward finding our own Voices, our own Journeys and our own Truth!

I married this Man two days after my 20th birthday! I was very naive; growing up in a normal family with all it's dysfunction common in the 50's and 60's. We did not have a perfect family by any means, but I was loved and cared for and encouraged to be the person I was meant to be.

And then I married a man who under the cloaks of "we are hippies" said to me over and over that he was there to help me "grow" and "reach my potential", but what he meant was "grow and reach HIS idea of what a woman, as seen in pornography, was suppose to be." Under the cloak of "I am an enlightened Man and really buy into all your Feminist stuff" was a Narcissistic Man who really  thought women should be subservient to men in bed and in the work place. That women were stupid and really didn't know what the hell they were doing if a man was not there to instruct them in how to "be".  I was a Maiden, caught between what I KNEW was my Truth was and what I was being brainwashed into believing was my truth.

So young and naive; so ready to be married and happy; so not ready to have my Voice stolen from me. Funny, tho', I didn't realized I had lost that voice until I watched my daughter grow into her teen years and she too was loosing her Voice!

And so for 11 years I have been Healing the Wounded Maiden! And today She is Healed! She has taken Her place beside the Inner Child, the Mother and now the Crone!

I thank my Maiden Self for being strong and for learning so much during those times of misogyny in the church and my own marriage. All those times finally brought me to the point where I could hear the call of Hekate!  She, the Maiden, Mother, Crone revealed Herself to me during Spiritual Direction, but I didn't know Her then. She revealed Herself to me in stories I began to read and finally She revealed Herself to me one Dark Night! She claimed me as Her own.

So tonight I will honor Hekate! I will honor Her for protecting my Maiden Self; for empowering my Mother Self and for now Welcoming My Crone Self!

The Healing is complete! Blessed be!

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