Saturday, August 23, 2014

It's been a Misognystic Kind week....oh wait that is every week!

Maybe it's because I am getting ready to turn 62 in a a week.

Maybe it's because I am reading more Feminist books.

Or Maybe, just maybe it's because Misogyny is just so much a part of who we are, that even enlightened women don't seem to see it any more, unless it is some politician spouting anti-contraceptive language on our TV, interrupting our entertainment that is also full of woman-hating, woman demeaning messages.

Definition of Misogyny: dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.

I have been a Feminist since my teens. This "rebellion" went against everything I was taught in my family and church. It went against the shows I watched on TV: Father Knows Best; and against the '50's family values that a woman's place was in the home, barefoot and pregnant.

This "rebellion" is still being classified by many in my family as, "hippie, 60's stuff" or as my mom told me: "you are just a product of your generation." (i.e. it is time for you to grow up and get over all of this silly stuff).

So this week it has been slammed in my face at work.

First, I was talking to a man who I have had many conversations with. I walked up on him with his hand in the copier and it looked stuck. My comment was, "Sean, is your hand stuck in the copier?" He said, "No!" I then said, "Oh I guess not or you would be screaming in pain." His reply?

"You would never catch me screaming and crying like a little girl!!!!!!!!!"

Now maybe it is because I am going to be 62 in a week, or I have read too many feminist books lately or because I am still a hippie rebellious person, but this comment went all over me!

And out of this beautiful mouth of mine came these words:

"Well, that was a very misogynistic comment." (I really didn't even think he would know the word, but he did.)

He got very defensive and took issue with me. I pointed out the obvious about this statement and what it said about girls and women and how that was misogynistic. He didn't agree with me, but that was ok, I got my point across and all the men in the room were listening and probably didn't join in the woman bashing as I AM the owner's sister!

Second and the most telling and disturbing:

I came upon one of the women I work with who was very upset. Her younger sister is getting married in a month and she is the Maid of Honor. Alecia has worked very hard on the shower, bachelorette party, etc. She had been receiving text messages from her sister telling her not to get overly dressed up for the wedding as the bride didn't want her sister to "out shine her". Alecia said her sister was very demeaning about how she over dresses and puts on too much makeup and is prettier than her anyway. Her sister told her that it was "her" day, "she" was the bride and "she" didn't want anyone looking at anyone but "her".

Now, I must say Alecia does not on any given day look "over made up." She is a beautiful woman and likes to dress nice. Needless to say, my friend had her heart broken but was very angry.

Do you see it? Do you see the competition that women have been taught to have by the patriarchal misogyny? Here is one sister literally calling out another sister about her appearance and especially how not to be more "attractive" than her so as not to "out shine her". Is this crazy or what?

Crazy? No! It is Misogyny at it's most potent. It is the part we miss. It is the part that says, "Two women can't live in the same household/can't be in the kitchen together/can't be best friends." It is the part that has women say "I am only friends with men! Women are too catty and bitchy and will knife you in the back in a heart beat."

Can you imagine this woman's husband saying to his best man, "Now dude, I don't want you to shave for the wedding 'cause I want to look better than you since it is "my" day and I want all eyes on "me".

Women are our own worst enemy! I keep saying it over and over. The War on Women will not be Won until Women refuse to join in the Misogyny! I have found that Women are the Worse Women Haters! We gossip about other women, we tear down other women, we demean other women. Men could just sit back and rest awhile because in my mind Women are doing the Work of Hating Women for them.

Yes, this is a big button for me as you can see.

These are only two of the daily examples of why women are still seen as "second class" and should be beat up, spit up, sexualized, paid less, etc.

And yes, I will be 62 in a week and I will NOT stop being Vocal about my passions. Just because I can now apply for Social Security does not mean I am done with my fight for Women to be Human Beings. We are not waiting for anyone to give us our rights! We have them and must claim them!

Blessed be!


  1. I totally agree Deb, which is reason to chose those who you share your heart with carefully. We change all of this by speaking our truth, beginning who we are and acting out of the deepest parts of our hearts, which is love.

    I miss you sister,

    1. Ahhh Kate you speak Wise Words. I am becoming more of a hermit in terms of sharing my heart. And in doing so I am finding that I am seeing clearly that which I am most passionate about. I too miss you so much! Hoping our paths will cross again one day! Namaste