Friday, January 17, 2014

Mother Goddess

How I love growing older. It is in the looking back that I can see how this Journey unfolds. I was brought up learning about this Father God, you know the one who loves you (Jesus Loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so...) but who gets really mad and will punish you if you are bad (introduction to sin). And this Father God (Our Father who art in Heaven...) lives in our heart but also lives in Heaven where we want to go when we die but won't if we are bad and Father God decides we have to be punished for our bad behavior (sin). And so I was always looking behind me; always looking up to the Heaven and trying to do good so I would go to Heaven. And the Church told me that I was made in the image of this Father God, but I was born with Original Sin and so I had to have God's son be born and be crucified so Father God would be able to even look at me; dirty and nasty and evil as I was. Hey what happened to being born in God's image?

I am so totally confused! But I tried not to be and I had this love/hate relationship with the church doctrine, with the Bible, with all that I heard from the pulpit, from my parents and from society.

And when I began to question it all; when I didn't want a Father who was this cruel; when I just knew that God could not be a male, but had to be a Mother I was told that God really isn't either sex. "We just use the patriarchal language of Father, he, him cause we don't want to say "it". Who can have a relationship with an "it"? So why not Mother, she, her, I asked in my teens. "well, because Jesus prayed "Our Father who art in Heaven..." (this was the reason I got in seminary too!) And I found myself arguing, but still being pulled in by the teachings because well, because....

I tried, Goddess knows I tried to believe and understand. Heck, I even went to Seminary after I retired. Why? Because I thought God was mad at me for not going when "he" told me to in college and so my marriage to my abusive husband was my punishment for not obeying and by going to seminary then maybe I could get God to not be mad at me anymore! Is this fucked up or what?

So I took 6 months off after I left my church job and began to search and I began at the beginning (In the beginning.....). In hand I had the Bible, my seminary teaching (where I was threatened with being burned at the stake), my Goddess background (yep, never quite let go of that), and my own mind and heart and the journey brought me back to where I knew I was always to be.

And yet I still held on to this notion that this Divine had to not be a sexual being; there had to be balance, that this Divine was both male and female or neither. I had all the pieces but this one that I felt I had to have. I was convinced that I HAD to have the male gods in my pantheon of female goddesses but it just never felt right. And then, omg and then......The Great Cosmic Mother came into my life and there were the missing pieces!

So here I am; My Goddess is Mother Goddess! She is the Creatrix as She can only be. A Father can not birth and feed his creation. He only offers up the seed only, but the female egg has everything she needs to create life (except for the sex of the child). If the child is female there is no Y chromosome found in her at all, but if the child is a male he carries both. ALL of creation carries the X, the female chromosome in their DNA! And only the female can feed her newborn from her own body!

Wow! How did I miss this in all my biology classes? Was it just skimmed over? Probably. With this now in place I can look to the Divine Mother and actually relate to her as made in her image! And a male can do the same because he carries her DNA! But that is not all!

This Creatrix Mother Goddess created as that is what all females are capable of doing (don't get me wrong, not all women are to birth children, but we carry the gift of creation in our DNA, more so then men)! She is the Bisexual Goddess Mother! She has all she needs to Create!!!!!

NO, NO, NO....I am NOT just following the patriarchal way and exchanging a Female God for a Male God. You see, there is no basis at all for a Male God, but all the basis in the world for a Feminine Divine!

Oh I could go on and on and there will even be those who follow the Goddess who will disagree with me and that is ok. This is my Journey and my Path!

But when Goddess opens up the window to see the new sights on this Life Journey it is magnificent and I can't drink enough of it in!

And the Journey continues and the older I get the more I will be able to see more windows opened and closed.

Isn't it grand?

Blessed be!


  1. As one Crone to another...isn't it wonderful to finally "get it!" My background was very much like yours. So glad we found our way and are at peace in our hearts. :D Brightest of blessings to you.

    1. thank you Lightwalkers Gathering! Always happy to find other women who are walking in the Light and the Truth of the Goddess! I am blessed that you took time to read my blog and to comment. Blessed be and Love!

  2. Wonderful - as always!!

    1. thank you so much for reading this post and for commenting. I hold your words in my heart! Blessed be and love!