Saturday, February 1, 2014

Do you think therapy might help?

This was the Question posed to me last week.

" Do you think therapy might help you?" The Question came from my 80 year old mom who thinks that I have Stopped wearing Make up, am letting my thin fine Hair grow long and have embraced the Goddess because by doing all of this I have put a Barrier up to keep men away from Me.

Ok, just sit with that for a minute. I guess she Forgot that I was in Therapy before, during and after my divorce, and have been a few more times over the 11 years since I left the narcissistic man who was Controlling, Abusive and just damn Mean. I guess she forgot that I have been the Radical Feminist, the tree hugging Hippie "democrat" since like forever. I guess she just doesn't Understand and I really don't expect her to at this age.

What I was Saying to my sisters was that if she would just Listen she would Understand that not wearing make up and letting my hair grow without coloring it, etc. is my way of Embracing the Body that was Given to me without having to Live by the Patriarchal Standards that encourage Wombyn to dress to Attract a man. Now, please don't get me wrong, I do not Judge any wombyn for wearing make up (Goddess knows I did from age 13 until 2 years ago!); or cutting their hair in cute styles or dressing up and wearing 3 inch heels.

What I am saying is that is not Me, as I embrace the Crone stage of my Life.

Oh I have all the Reasons why this is Not about setting up a Barrier of any sort. In fact, I have finally Let Go of all the Barriers I once had! Whew! It has been such Freedom! (Now lets see when I get brave enough to not wear a bra to work!)

Anyway....I have done the Work and am a Healthy, Independent, Single woman who Chooses to be Single. I don't want a man in my life (well except for my dad, my son and my cousin)! I love love love being alone and have not missed Companionship one bit since I left my marriage 11 years ago.

But here is the point of my blog post:

I woke up this week one morning and had one of those great Ah-ha moments! Here it is:

IF I HAD WANTED TO SET UP A BARRIER THEN THAT WOULD BE MY CHOICE TO DO SO AND TO HELL WITH ANYONE THINKING I NEED THERAPY TO CORRECT IT!

Again don't misconstrue what I am saying: I love therapy! But do you see what the Realization is? It is as much of my Choice to not wear makeup anymore, to keep my hair pulled up and not highlight it, and not set up barriers as it is my Choice to wear makeup, color my hair and set up barriers.

That is the Freedom! That is the Divine Feminine Voice that as wombyn  we have forgotten to Listen to and to use! I get to CHOOSE! I get to say Yes, I get to say No, I get to say When, and I get to say with Who! I get to make the Decisions that do no harm to myself or to others! And whether or not I wear makeup does not hurt either.

It is not Freedom to think that I have to wear makeup in order to attract a man or woman to me. That is Patriarchal bullshit! That is the lie that keeps Wombyn in captivity. That is the lie that keeps Wombyn in sexual bondage! That my sisters is the Lie that is told to us by society, religion, families, government, etc. Do you see that?

So we are told If and When we can access birth control, If and When we can have an abortion, How much we should weigh, What jobs we can hold and Who the heck we can marry, and this just touches the surface of the Choices we have taken out of our hands or that have been spelled out to us that are the only right choices to make.

But my mom and probably others think I am making myself as "ugly" as possible so a man won't be attracted to me. How sad is that? You know how sad? My mom and dad have been married for 63 years, since they were 18 years of age. And when my mom had bronchitis a month ago and had a high fever and could hardly breathe she got up every day took her shower, put her makeup on and got back in bed. When I asked why? This is what she said, "Well, your dad is here and wants to see me looking as good as I can!" This is what makes me sad, because she isn't the only woman in the world brainwashed like this.

Nope! Thank you very much, I have decided to remain Single and be Happy about it. I like not wearing makeup any more and not having to fix my hair. I take a shower every day and put on clean clothes, so I don't smell bad or am dirty (which would also be MY choice if I so chose that way to live. Of course, I might loose my job so that falls under the harming myself catagory, right?)

And most of all I Love not having a man in my life! And it has little to do with what happened in my marriage.

It's Choices! And it's My Choices! And it is Your Choices!

Embrace and claim that Feminine Voice that will never lie to you, never betray you and will always steer you to make the Right Decision for YOU!

That my Sisters is the Way of the Goddess!

Blessed be!


4 comments:

  1. i stopped listening to all those voices!! what a relief!!! ♥

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    1. What an amazing Feat it is for all wombyn! We can now be the voice for those who are not there yet! Love you

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  2. Penthesilea GreenleafFebruary 2, 2014 at 12:32 AM

    You are an inspiration to all womyn!!

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    1. And you my sister are an inspiration to me and so many womyn! Blessed be and love!

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