Sunday, September 30, 2012

My True Essence

It has been an interesting week. Announcements of pregnancies (March is going to be a busy month for deliveries); weddings (my ex daughter in law got married); births and deaths (my good friend's mom died this morning). All in one week. And the leaves are changing and the temperatures here in South Carolina seem to be more like fall and I have my windows open full time so I am very happy. I am attending an amazing class with a shamanic energy practitioner and I feel like I am finally getting a real handle on this journey I have been on, am now on and will be on in the future. October brings me to the 10th anniversary of deciding to end my 30 year marriage and November will actually bring that decade to a close.

I am very aware of the Wheel Turning in my life and the lives of those very close to me.

Today I have felt a sadness deep in my soul. A sadness that really isn't connect to any of the announcements that have come into my life, but a sadness for all those who wander through their lives never stopping to look at themselves or others; never stopping to look at the Garden we live in; never stopping to honor the fact that we are co-creators and as such are meant to co-create love and light and not hatred and darkness.

I have a sadness in my soul that we never seem to want to take the time to see the True Essence of another and certainly not ourselves. And when we do, especially us women in the group, we only see damage, ugliness, worthlessness and the need to be enough for everyone.

This past week, in the class, I was paired up with the shamanic healer for an exercise in "seeing" the others True Essence. We blew into our crystals and then handed them to the other; while sitting knee to knee, we looked into the eyes of the other and set our intention on "seeing" that True Essence.

And here is what Maurene saw for me:

She saw a radiance, orange bolts of light coming out of my head and a "halo" of sorts surrounding me. She then saw me like the Catholic statue of Mary "in a bathtub" as she would call it and I knew exactly what she meant.

Then she told me that the "bathtub" was the crystal surrounding me; and she then saw me on the top of a mountain; with a very large brown bear standing beside me (brown bear is on of my animal spirits which she did not know) and all of a sudden I took off in this crystal and did flips and cartwheels in the sky. But all the time, there was this glow, this radiance, this halo from me. And she kept hearing "Cathedral Court."

I want to admit to you that my first response was "halo"? "Mother Mary"? Are you kidding me? And I was embarrassed. And yet, her eyes were sparkling and she was honored to be in the presence of the True Essence that she saw in her Vision. But my friends, I was embarrassed. Why??? Why would this embarrass me? Was it the brainwashing I have received all my life? I think it was. Why can I not own that I do radiate, that I am a Lightbearer and like Mary I bear Goddess into the world on a daily basis?

And it was then and there that this new transformation began. I decided to stand in the Truth of my Radiance. To stand in the Truth that I am a Light Bearer, a Birther of the Goddess, a Holy Wise Woman who has incredible gifts much needed by the world. To stand in this Truth boldly and be honored and humbled by the choice that Creatress made in gifting me with them!

I am moving further and further away from the lies, brainwashing, betrayals and the story of 30 years. I am moving further and further away from the damage, the wounds, and the limitations that others put on me. I am moving further and further away from the guilt, shame and despair I have carried for so very long.

We are all being called to stand boldly in our True Essence. We all have one that is oh so different than what we have been led to believe! We must believe! We must my friends as you see, the shift is coming and Goddess is preparing us to be there to help those unenlightened as they struggle to "see" in a different way.

I am not sure what this will look like for me or for you, but I Trust that it will happen. Join me! Stand in the True Essence that is You! Together we are about to enter a time of Awakening like never seen before!

Namaste and Blessed be!

(note: neither of us knew what Cathedral Court meant, so I goggled it and all I found was it being the name of apartment complexes, etc. Any thoughts?)


  1. Look what I got when I googled Cathedral Court. :)

  2. Duh... LOL

  3. Beautiful my Sister...and you ARE the True Essence of the Goddess....and it's something we all have within us..each in our own way. We just have to find it!! Love you!! So proud of you!!!