Sunday, March 16, 2014

Fleeting Friendships

Friendships are fleeting as we all know, but luckily there are those that stand the test of time. But one friendship ending recently really caught me off guard and as a result has led me to an understanding and an awareness of how shallow friendships can be. I thought this friendship was deeper than it turned out to be, but in reality I now see how much I was being used for support, love and understanding while this woman was going through her own self awareness and acceptance. But it only took one sentence that struck this woman in the wrong way and bam; that was it.

This woman has now transitioned to male and has fully embraced the patriarchal lifestyle, thought patterns and behaviors she was unable to embrace fully as a Lesbian (even tho' she would not agree with me). Since this woman ended our friendship, Goddess has brought to me other women who have unknowingly brought me to new understanding of the Trans community and the definition of Lesbian, along with affirming and getting me back on my path of Radical Feminism. For this I am so grateful and feel this is the first path I needed to take following up on the Vision from the Shamanic Journey a few weeks ago.

 Friendships can be so fleeting and this friendship proved to be just that. At first I felt used and abused by this person as she spoke of such negative things in a message sent to me; accusing me of not being inclusive, being a man hater and not at peace. But then I remembered that I chose to be there for this human being because that is what I chose to do. I am very good at being supportive, loving and compassionate. I am very good at offering an open heart and mind. I do not regret being a friend to this woman for the past 10 years.

What does make me sad is how it ended. It ended with anger on her part. This has been new for our relationship so it did catch me off guard. But now I understand so much. She has joined the ranks of the patriarchal identification of what it means to be a male. At least that is my take on the situation.

I am not sorry that she was in  my life all these years. She taught me much during this journey of what I thought was a friendship. A friendship that should have survived a misunderstanding on her part. But I am now thankful did not!

And so I say good bye. I wish her much happiness and peace as she moves on her own journey.

Friendships are fleeting at times and that is why I try very hard to nurture the friends I have. It can be hard as we tend to be so different, but I try none the less.

May we always be aware that humans will come in and out of our lives; some for us to care for and some to care for us; but the most precious are those that know how to care for each other at the same time and that stand the tests that will come with us all being human be-ings!

Blessed be and much love! The Journey is stressful enough, let us walk in love and compassion together!


  1. It hurts to loose a friend, no matter the circumstances. You are accepting it like the grown up adult warrior woman that you are. It is difficult dealing with trans gender issues. One of my granddaughters has those issues and I am finally learning how to say things to her that help not hurt her. Very fine line. We both mean and meant well but unless we are in the others exact circumstance..impossible to really understand. Your friend may think about her behavior to you. Forgiveness. That is what I preach on a daily basis. Just forgive.

    I love the painting of the crone that you used. Where did you get her? Whenever I sculpt a very old looking crone..she is always the last to sell. It seems our society still wants the beautiful face..some lines maybe but not the true look of the crone. Sad.

    1. The Crone painting was something from another facebook post. Isn't she amazing. She does in fact remind me of your work! It is so sad that your crones are the last to sell, I cherish mine. We must stand as Crone Women and speak loudly the Wisdom of our Selves! Blessings and love Healing Woman!

  2. i call them friends of the road or friends of the heart....friends of the road come and go..and the candle burns out ...but friends of the heart are there forever..whether you are together or apart!!! i lost a friend recently...someone i worked with...7 years we toiled together in the same trenches and then one misunderstanding and poof!! devastating but a reminder...friends of the road!! bye bye!! wish her well!! ♥ U!!!

  3. Thank you for your comments Raven Spirit Song! I love the friends of the road analogy! I will be using this. Blessings and love!