Wednesday, May 2, 2012

What is your Magick?

I was all ready. It was 11pm and my TV shows were over and it was Beltane and I wanted to do a ritual at my altar before going to bed. So, I brushed my teeth, lit the candles and then thought, "Oh I want to take a picture of the altar with the candles lit." And I took many because none of them seemed right.

And I was tired I tell you. Like really really tired. But I wanted to do a Beltane Ritual even tho' I was doing it alone. So, I called in the Sacred Directions and invoked Hekate, Persephone and Isis. And I first thanked the Goddesses for watching over my daughter and son and then named friends on Facebook who were in need of Love and Light. I sat on the bed and then heard Herne calling from the Living Room. So I went out (oh, my altar is in my bedroom) and got Him and put him on my altar. As I began to speak to him, I thought, "oh gosh, I need to take a picture now that Herne is on the altar." And I did just that.


I then sat on the bed and looked at the altar and the energy was there and I laid down and tried to imagine doing Magic and I Saw Wolf coming to me and planting the seeds of Teaching in my belly and then Herne came and placed the seeds of Passion for that Teaching and Healing in my belly. And I got up, thanked the Deities and the Directions and went to sleep.

This morning on my walk I felt so embarrassed in front of the Goddess. I told Her that I was sorry that I just didn't seem to have the patience to do rituals; that last night I kept interrupting Sacred Space to take pictures and that I couldn't think of what to say and to do and that I was not a good Witch at all. I questioned my Path and even said, "I am not worthy of the Title of Witch." I began thinking about the Witch Sisters and Brothers I have and their talk of Rituals and Magic and incredible Work that they do and I so wanted to be that Witch. "But alas, I am not", I said to Goddess on my morning walk.

This led me to think about when I was in the Christian Tradition. I was always very involved in the worship services; sang in the Praise and Worship Band, served Communion, Prayed, was an Usher, and even preached a Sermon once or twice. I loved the Liturgy. "Am I on the Right Path?" I cried out to Goddess on my Walk this morning!

And She asked me this question: What is Liturgy? Oh I knew the answer to this question. Liturgy is "the work of the People" I boldly told Her. And I stopped in my tracks. In the Church the Liturgy was never the "work of the People" but it was the "work of the Church." And what was this Work? Brainwashing. I was flooded with memories of reciting creeds, and confessions and prayers that were full of things I found so hard to believe; full of words cloaking the real message of power and control; forgiveness given to us through a man in a robe saying he/she was given the power to speak for God and he/she was the only one there who was given that power.

"What is Your Work, my dear daughter?" "What is Your Liturgy?" And my eyes began to open; I began to see through the Veil and She revealed this to me:

My Magick happens on my Walks. It happens as I listen intently to each song being sung by the birds; it happens when I wave to people either walking or driving by; it happens as I hug the tree and curtsey to the Lake; it happens as I acknowledge the setting Moon and rising Sun or the setting Sun and rising Moon. Magick happens as I converse with Goddess on these Walks, consult with Her, praise Her, lift up others to Her Light! This is my Ritual Magic. It is kinetic and it is Sacred.

She also showed me Magic Happened last week when I walked into the Supervisor's Office at work and said Good Morning and he said, "I am so glad you work here, you brighten up every morning for me." She showed me Magic Happening as people thank me for helping them with their work and for doing a good job. Magic Happens as I hug a co-worker whose mother is dying, pray for a woman facing surgery and support my kids as they struggle to figure out this life!

My Magic, My Liturgy is Being Who I am!

I realized that not all Witches are called to work at an Altar all the time; to create wonderful potions and soaps or even to grow bountiful herbs! But all Witches have their own Magick that defines who they are and how they walk in the Garden.

I am Witch! Healer and Teacher! One that sees the Divine Manifest in all Creation! One that learns from the cycles of nature, its plants and creatures! I am One Who worships Mother Goddess, Triune Mother, Maiden, Crone in all Her Majesty! I am Witch!

So my cauldron may be very small and I may hate to cook, but I sure can conjure up some great feelings in the people I meet each day!

Goddess affirmed my Path today on my Morning Walk. The birds sang, the water flowed and a lizard slept in my fake daffodils last night and greeted me when I came into the apartment as if to say; "I feel safe here because I know Who you are! You are a Witch and you won't hurt me!" No I won't!
  It's Magic!

Blessed be!

4 comments:

  1. powerfully sweet deer one!!! love those aha! moments!!! njoy!! d <*)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes. Yes. Yes!!! The hardest thing about changing paths is letting go of that old paradigm of guilt and not enough. My favorite line in Chocolat is "don't worry so much about 'not supposed to.'" I have been figuring out the same things. I'm not much of a working-at-the-altar witch either. I love my altar but it's more of an expression and reminder. The thing I love about being Pagan is that it's just who I am. It pervades everything. It's not something I do, it's who I am...everywhere I go, everything I do, everything I think, love, smell, taste...everything. Love you!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank YOU for sharing this! I feel just as guilty, which is why I make myself go to others' group rituals(Dianic in my case) and when I can, I lead my own Amazon and Goddess rituals(mostly yearly at a women's spirituality festival I attend, sometimes lucky to lead more than one a year, this year I got to lead two big rituals)! I have a hard time getting myself down to clean up the altar and get all formal in the apartment, but it is as you say: small, informal things. Like going out in the communal yard in my apartment complex and while throwing out the trash, I stare at the Moon for 5-15 minutes. I used to do this all the time, but I am going to go back to ALWAYS honoring Her, even for a few short minutes, my feet on the grass, and my arms extended to Her, and bathing my crystals in the Moonlight when I can....I also do the same coming home during the day, step on the grass, and feel the Sunlight on my skin.

    The more experienced you get, the more familiar, the more immediate that PERSONAL connection with Goddess, even spells for things we need. Doesn't have to be formal, just in our minds...we connect, things happen....some people are way more naturally psychic, but I always needed ritual to connect with my psychic self,and to open up...I LOVE deep ritual, I LOVE formal ritual, I LOVE powerful group ritual with other womyn, and the ecstasy of dancing with them in ritual circle, channeling Her in my body with a group of womyn....but it's the daily things, weekly things,monthly things we do, to connect with Her as Solitaries that really counts, because like I said last night to a newbie to our circle, she had never ritualled in a group before, but did things on her own in nature to connect, 'Ultimately, we are ALL Solitaries, because we ALL are working our OWN Paths, as Witches...otherwise you come to a circle and you're vampirizing the energy cuz you have nothing to bring!" And the other womyn who were more experienced agreed with that.....It's ALL aspects of our lives, but it's lovely to ritualize it too as well!
    -In Sisterhood,
    -FeistyAmazon/M.A.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you so much for your wise words! I really appreciate you reading and responding to my blog! I wish to find a group of women to Circle with. I miss that contact so very much! Blessed be!

      Delete