Sunday, January 27, 2013

the Vulneralbility of Nakedness

A lot has gone on this week in my search for the Puzzle pieces of my Feminine Voice. I keep thinking I am done but then I realize I have pieces that had either fallen on the floor (don't you hate when that happens?) or just hadn't been discovered in the box it came in. And so I have finally come to realize that this will be a life long process. On some days it is exciting like this week and then some days like today it is not. But it is necessary if I want to continue to grow and evolve and be able to help other women as they struggle to do the same.

So, I went for my walk this afternoon deciding that going back to the new path through the Forest would be good for my Soul. I was not ready for the surprise I got.

Two weeks ago when I found this new path it was exciting and new and despite it being in the middle of the winter, it was full of life and light. Today, not so much. Today, even tho' the sun was shining like two weeks ago, today, all I could see was the Nakedness of it all. The only thing I could think about was how all we want to do is cover up; protect and clothe those parts of us that make us vulnerable and human. And as a result make us miserable.

Today, the walk was amazingly depressing.

The bare branches seemed to reach out to me (you know like in those horror movies when someone is walking in the forest in the middle of the night in deep fog, and a branch catches them and they scream!); the bark on the trees pulling away like skin on a sunburned back; the acorns and pine cones were black and decaying. I tried, I tell you I tried to find the beauty that was there 2 weeks ago, but it would not show itself.



Today I was to notice the Vulnerability of Nakedness. The rawness of it all. Right in front of my eyes were the imperfections that spring and summer cover up so well with leaves and moss and all sorts of alive and growing things!

But not today.

And it made sense really. You see, I finally realized that I do not want to have a partner in my life and I put an end to a "fake" relationship with my very toxic sister.

 I took off all the clothing that society and religion had talked me into putting on and I claimed two very valuable pieces of the puzzle of my Feminine Voice. My letter to this "woman who came from the same womb as me", was raw, it was scabby and it made me very vulnerable. But it was necessary so that Spring can come to that part of my Life Puzzle. No longer do I need to hang on to Oliver Branches that never took root thus continuing the decay and toxicity of a relationship built out of this odd thing we call "family."

The Forest was Naked Today and Goddess needed me to see it. I needed to embrace the Death and Dying that is necessary for Life and Growth.

It was a long walk as most Naked Journeys are. And I found a tree that had long ago fallen and formed a natural bench and I sat and gazed around me at what was a Message of Endings and Beginnings. There in the Forest I put the two found pieces of my Lift Puzzle into their assigned places and they fit just right. And it was good and it was right; even in it's Vulnerability and Nakedness it was Perfect in it's Imperfection.

As I write I remember a poem by Rumi that is hanging on my refrigerator that Goddess gave me when I decided to quit work and move to South Carolina:

"Come to this street with only your sweet fragrance.
Don't walk into THIS river wearing a robe!
Paths go from here to there,
but don't arrive from somewhere!
It's time now to live naked."

Being naked opens us up to new adventures and understanding and yes, it makes us vulnerable but that really is OK. That is what Living is all about. When we cover ourselves with Masks and Belief systems that are not our own then we are like the Dead and Dying Forest Pieces.

The surprise tho' is that even in the Dead and Dying and Decaying places of our Soul, there is New Life just ready to push up through our Soil sending blossoms to adorn our Naked Journey!

Blessed be!


4 comments:

  1. love this sister! so in tune with what I am feeling as well you articulated it so well it was like I was on that walk with you!

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  2. ♥ an ever present theme it seems for me as well sister...i just shared yesterday that i was shedding my skin and walking naked into the next turning of the wheel...preparing for my dreams to be made manifest in the new light....sounds like you are too!! hugs!! <*)

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