Shamanic Journey to Healing

Just when I think "the healing" is done; the Guest returns and reminds me there is always a bit more to do.

Yesterday, I attended a workshop led by 4 women entitled "Empowering the Divine Feminine". The workshop began with a Shamanic Journey. The Music and Sounds were the most Powerful I had ever Heard. Shamanic Heart Opening Ritual was led by Marcella. I tried to stay Focused on my Heart, but I was not to do that; instead I was to actually Journey through the Heart to the next level of Healing.

I entered a Cave; Dark and Foreboding, but Familiar and Comfortable; I knew I had Great Work to do in this Place. As I Arrived at the Center of the Cave I stood Face to Face with my Ex husband. There he stood with His Arrogant Look, His Demeaning Eyes, and his Narcissistic aura.

I Faced him and began to Strip him Bare. With my Magick I Stripped his Clothing from his Body. The Look on his Face began to Change to Confusion, but he remained Standing with his Narcissistic Aura fully in tact. With this I slowly Peeled away his Skin. His Aura became Dimmer and the Confusion turned to Fear and Awe. Finally I took out my Athame and Cut off his Penis. This is Threw into a small Fire that had been lit Beside Me. It was then that I Noticed the Wombyn from all Time standing Behind me.

(The music was escalating at this point). I Stood very Tall and Banished him Deep into the Cave Saying that he would Never hurt his Children, Me or Anyone else. As he was Sucked into the Depths and Darkness of the Cave, I lifted my Hands and Called Down the Huge Stones of the Cavern and they Sealed off the area where this Evil Man had been Sent.

I Turned and the Sea of Wombyn parted and I walked Boldly out of the Cave with the Wombyn following. When we Arrived outside the Cave a bonfire had been lit and Wombyn were already Dancing around it. I took my Space and Danced with them.

It was then that I saw Myself being Engulfed by the Flames. Smothered and Cleansed. Then I saw My Self Rising from the Flames, with my Daughter on my Left and my Son on my Right. We rose from the Ashes and there Waiting for Us was a Red and Magnificent Phoenix. We climbed unto Her Back and She soared over the Fire and let us off at a Crossroads. Here I stood with my Daughter on my Left and my Son on my Right. I gave each a Blessings of Love and Freedom and Sent them Down their Own Paths.

As I Stood there Watching my Children Traveling Down their Own Paths, I was Joined by Wolf to my Right and Brown Bear to my Left!

Together we walked to a Field where I laid Down in the Midst of Gorgeous Flowers. Wolf laid to my Right and Brown Bear on my Left. Fairies showed up in the Forest, bearing Honey and Bread for the next Journey. They Tended to me with Care and Love, Tenderness and Devotion.

I then Saw Myself being led into a Deep Pool of Water. As I Floated, still being Attended by the Fae, I Realized that I was Floating in my Own Tears; being Supported by My Own Tears; and the Fae told Me that it is in the Tears that I will find my Memories.

Eventually, I Stood up in the Pool of Tears and Walked Naked out onto a Path; Wolf joining me at My Right and Brown Bear at my Left.

The Three of Us Walked Down a Path, the Beginning of the Next Chapter of The Journey.

And the Music Stopped. And Marcella was Bringing Us Back.

Blessed be!

  

Our Last Time to be "just You and Me"!

I am Celebrating a very Special Day today, February 15th. You see, 30 years ago, it was Just Me and my Daughter. She was still Nestled inside the Protective, Nourishing confines of my Womb. She was Moving ever so Slightly as She was near Her time to be Born. I Cherished every Movement, every Hiccup, every Moment Shared as No One else could Share. No one else could ever Share Her with Me. She was Mine and I was Hers. Together We had Traveled for 9 months and Now it was the Day before She was to Arrive into a New World.

Like all of us, Stephanie would leave the Waters of her Mom's Womb and enter a world where She would have to be bombarded by lights, sounds, temperature variations, pain and loss. But today, 30 years ago, She still Swam in my Amniotic Fluid; She received her Nourishment via the Umbilical Cord connecting us in a way She would never be Connected to another until and if She Bore her own Child, and She was Safe and Loved in a Special Way. 

And so today I honor that Last day that was only Stephanie and Me!

And tomorrow at 9:15 am She will move into her 30th year of Living Outside the Protection of Me. And as Mom's we never are able to Protect in the same Way again.

Birth brings both a Joy and a Sadness. I Grieved for a few minutes the Loss of Her inside Me, but Rejoiced in the Knowing that I would be Invited along for the Ride of her Journey. And what a Ride it has been.

It has been amazing to Watch as She has Grown into a Confident, Independent, Successful, Talented, Loving, Caring, Vocal, Amazing Woman! She has shown a Resilience that makes me Catch my Breath as I watch from afar. She has been such a Blessing to Everyone she Meets, Everyone She Shares that incredible Smile with, and Everyone She Comforts during Times of Loss and Struggle.

Today, in the Quiet of my Heart I Re-Member this Last day 30 years ago. Hard to Believe that this Time has Passed. Hard to Believe that I did Once Hold her Tightly in my Body, I ate right, I exercised, I did all I could do to take Care of her during those crucial 9 months and then I said a quiet Good-bye as She was taken from my Womb by C-section.

I find Tears today as I sit with this Memory. Tears for the Journey both of Us have been on. Tears of Joy and Sadness. Tears of Thanksgiving for being Chosen to Birth this particular Goddess into the World.

And Her Journey continues with each Passing Day! And I Thank Stephanie for including Me in Her Life Journey, for Reaching out Daily to Others, and most of all for Loving Me, the Woman Who Held Her Safely inside until She was ready to take Her first Breath in the Garden full of Rainbows, Brilliant Colors and Music; and ready to Soak up All the Gifts that She was Given in order to be a Blessing as the Goddess incarnate.

I am Honored! I am Humbled! I am full of Love for this beautiful Woman I call Goddess Stephanie Bryce!

We are not of the world?

What happens when we no longer see ourselves as "of the world."
What happens when we see ourselves as separate from the world and a part of something that lives outside of this planet?
What happens when we are brainwashed by a patriarchal religion and thought patten that separates the spiritual from the flesh?

And Jesus prays to "his father" knowing that he is to be arrested. "I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they do not belong to the world, just as I do not belong to the world. I am not asking you to take them out of the world, but I ask you to protect them from the evil one. They do not belong to the world, just as I do not belong to the world." (John 17:15-16)

This was not always the thought pattern. It has only been the thought pattern for the past 4000 years of patriarchal rule and domination. Once we take ourselves Out of the World, we then begin to see reasons to rape, pillar, dominate, pollute, take what is not ours, destroy, wage war on our neighbor, murder, steal, abuse, neglect, etc etc etc. We no longer See this world as the Mother; the One we grew from; the One who nourishes us, the One who parents us with Her visual teachings as we move through each day!

Goddess religions which survived for 300,00-400,00 years before the Bronze Age of Patriarchal Infiltration, set the imagery of Oneness with the Divine; and the Divine was the Entire Creation. As a result the peoples were a community; not an individual. Thus there was a reason to love the neighbor, help the neighbor, understand the neighbor and work together for the betterment and enlightenment of all.

I thought of this on my walk today as I was standing in the Forest looking at the sun coming through the trees; as I walked upon the sacred earth; as I observed the budding of trees readying themselves for Spring; listening to Crows flying overheard and a Woodpecker looking for bugs now coming alive with the warmth; and gazing upon what I now will Call Mother Tree!

Monica Sjoo & Barbara Moor in The Great Cosmic Mother says this: "Lesbian and even hetero feminists who are 'into the Goddess' have opted for cultural-political separatism; they have 'left politics' and political solutions, that is, by blaming the world's problems on men, and then refusing to have anything more to do with 'the man's world'--i.e, 'Let him clean up his own mess." The glaring problem with this separatist  solution is that 'the man's world' is still filled with a majority population of women and children--it is women and children doing most of the suffering 'out there,' and to turn one's back on 'the mans' world' is to turn one's back on them." (pg 416-417)

(Do you see how the current political and religious institutions have this mentality even within the patriarchal structure?)

They continue: "A genuine understanding of 'the Goddess' would not allow us to do this; a true ontological experience of the Great Mother, and of the complete physical as well as spiritual bonding-together of all life on earth, would not allow us us to turn our backs on 'the man's world'--for we are in and of that world now and its suffering is an extension of us, as we are an extension of it. In a true reliving of the world's first religion, we can make no distinctions between 'the life of the spirit' and 'the life of the flesh,' FOR THEY ARE ONE (my capitalization). And so, we make no separation between 'spirituality' and 'politics.' WE ARE THIS WORLD, we cannot leave it. We can only  work to transform it as we transform ourselves, in acts of evolution and revolution." (pg 417)

This All came barreling Down on me standing there looking at Mother Tree; Belly Button protruding as most women's do during pregnancy. The message very clear to me: WE ARE THE WORLD AND THE WORLD IS US AND ALL IS GODDESS!

Now, I spent time with the patriarchal lies but knew on a deeper level that something was wrong with the separation of my spiritual self and my physical self. I would cry when I saw pictures of Native Peoples laying in the ditches at Wounded Knee wondering how in the world one person(s) could in the name of God just out and out take land away from people and then march them outside of their community and then kill them? What part of "Do not Kill?" did this people not understand? I searched my Bible, I talked to my Pastors and what I go was more, "There is this evil in the world and if all would believe in Jesus there would be peace on earth." What? There wasn't peace in the very church I spend most of my life totally involved in. Oh yea, Original Sin?

I recommend that everyone read The Great Cosmic Mother. It will finally put the pieces together as to what has happened to bring us to this point. And it is frustrating and scarey and like some of my feminist sisters, I too want to run away and just live out the rest of my journey reading books and dancing under the full moon! But this book has unsettled a soul that was already totally unsettled.

So here is the response to John 17: 15-16 and the reason we must all find ways to be activists:

"...the Goddess does not 'live' solely in elite separatist retreats, dancing naked in the piney woods under a white and well-fed moon. The Goddess at this moment is starving to death in refugee camps, with a skeletal child clutched to her dry nipples. The Goddess at this moment is undergoing routine strip-and-squat search inside an American prison. The goddess is on welfare, raising her children in a ghetto next to a freeway interchange that fills their blood cells and neurons with lead. The Goddess is an eight-year-old girl being used for the special sexual thrills of visiting businessmen in a Brazilian brothel. The Goddess is patrolling with a rifle slung over her shoulder, trying to save a revolution in Nicaragua. The Goddess is Winnie Mandela in South Africa, saying 'Don't push me." I.e., the Goddess IS the world--the Goddess is IN the world. And NOBODY can escape the world. We know this, but we forget it." (pg 417-418)

If we embrace this then we can't engage in anything the Patriarchal Ideology brainwashes people with. But we can't hide away in our Forest Cottages and hope something will change. We must speak the Truth in whatever way the Goddess asks us to do that. But first we must transform our own thinking. I still find myself thinking and saying things that show I have not been totally cleansed of this bullshit mentality.

We are the Garden and the Garden is us! And it and we are beautiful! We are the Goddess and the Goddess is us! We are the other and the other is us! When we embrace this we no longer find it right and worthy to rape, destroy, dominate, put down, pollute, etc etc etc.

And by the way; who the heck wants a Savior/God who clearly says they are not of the world? Does that sound like a good mother who would say to their child: "oh by the way, you might of been birthed by me but I am not apart of you and you are not apart of me." 

Blessed be!

Do you think therapy might help?

This was the Question posed to me last week.

" Do you think therapy might help you?" The Question came from my 80 year old mom who thinks that I have Stopped wearing Make up, am letting my thin fine Hair grow long and have embraced the Goddess because by doing all of this I have put a Barrier up to keep men away from Me.

Ok, just sit with that for a minute. I guess she Forgot that I was in Therapy before, during and after my divorce, and have been a few more times over the 11 years since I left the narcissistic man who was Controlling, Abusive and just damn Mean. I guess she forgot that I have been the Radical Feminist, the tree hugging Hippie "democrat" since like forever. I guess she just doesn't Understand and I really don't expect her to at this age.

What I was Saying to my sisters was that if she would just Listen she would Understand that not wearing make up and letting my hair grow without coloring it, etc. is my way of Embracing the Body that was Given to me without having to Live by the Patriarchal Standards that encourage Wombyn to dress to Attract a man. Now, please don't get me wrong, I do not Judge any wombyn for wearing make up (Goddess knows I did from age 13 until 2 years ago!); or cutting their hair in cute styles or dressing up and wearing 3 inch heels.

What I am saying is that is not Me, as I embrace the Crone stage of my Life.

Oh I have all the Reasons why this is Not about setting up a Barrier of any sort. In fact, I have finally Let Go of all the Barriers I once had! Whew! It has been such Freedom! (Now lets see when I get brave enough to not wear a bra to work!)

Anyway....I have done the Work and am a Healthy, Independent, Single woman who Chooses to be Single. I don't want a man in my life (well except for my dad, my son and my cousin)! I love love love being alone and have not missed Companionship one bit since I left my marriage 11 years ago.

But here is the point of my blog post:

I woke up this week one morning and had one of those great Ah-ha moments! Here it is:

IF I HAD WANTED TO SET UP A BARRIER THEN THAT WOULD BE MY CHOICE TO DO SO AND TO HELL WITH ANYONE THINKING I NEED THERAPY TO CORRECT IT!

Again don't misconstrue what I am saying: I love therapy! But do you see what the Realization is? It is as much of my Choice to not wear makeup anymore, to keep my hair pulled up and not highlight it, and not set up barriers as it is my Choice to wear makeup, color my hair and set up barriers.

That is the Freedom! That is the Divine Feminine Voice that as wombyn  we have forgotten to Listen to and to use! I get to CHOOSE! I get to say Yes, I get to say No, I get to say When, and I get to say with Who! I get to make the Decisions that do no harm to myself or to others! And whether or not I wear makeup does not hurt either.

It is not Freedom to think that I have to wear makeup in order to attract a man or woman to me. That is Patriarchal bullshit! That is the lie that keeps Wombyn in captivity. That is the lie that keeps Wombyn in sexual bondage! That my sisters is the Lie that is told to us by society, religion, families, government, etc. Do you see that?

So we are told If and When we can access birth control, If and When we can have an abortion, How much we should weigh, What jobs we can hold and Who the heck we can marry, and this just touches the surface of the Choices we have taken out of our hands or that have been spelled out to us that are the only right choices to make.

But my mom and probably others think I am making myself as "ugly" as possible so a man won't be attracted to me. How sad is that? You know how sad? My mom and dad have been married for 63 years, since they were 18 years of age. And when my mom had bronchitis a month ago and had a high fever and could hardly breathe she got up every day took her shower, put her makeup on and got back in bed. When I asked why? This is what she said, "Well, your dad is here and wants to see me looking as good as I can!" This is what makes me sad, because she isn't the only woman in the world brainwashed like this.

Nope! Thank you very much, I have decided to remain Single and be Happy about it. I like not wearing makeup any more and not having to fix my hair. I take a shower every day and put on clean clothes, so I don't smell bad or am dirty (which would also be MY choice if I so chose that way to live. Of course, I might loose my job so that falls under the harming myself catagory, right?)

And most of all I Love not having a man in my life! And it has little to do with what happened in my marriage.

It's Choices! And it's My Choices! And it is Your Choices!

Embrace and claim that Feminine Voice that will never lie to you, never betray you and will always steer you to make the Right Decision for YOU!

That my Sisters is the Way of the Goddess!

Blessed be!

I was a Prostitute!

As I sat and read a most heartfelt blog post this week, I was struck by how much resonated with me. Oh, well of course, let's hope that many blog posts we read now a days speak to us on some level. But you see I was caught a bit off guard as this blog post was written by a woman who had lived as a Prostitute most of her teen and adult life. Her words yelled at me; her words cried at me and her words took me to a place I really don't like to visit.

But isn't that what Winter time is? The Time to invite the Shadows to the Table and have a conversation over Tea?

Isn't the Winter times in our lives for facing head on those Shadows, thanking them for what they have taught us and then as we give them a hug, as we do any invited guest to our home, saying good-bye?

Well, the Shadow Guest that came somewhat uninvited this week was Prostitution.

I was a Prostitute for 30 years. Yep, 30 years I was a Prostitute! With one man! My husband!

You see, my husband (now ex for 11 years), had and probably still has a sexual addiction. His addiction was to pornography (well at least that is all I am aware of). I was a Prostitute for one man for 30 years.

It started shortly after I moved in with him when I was 19 years of age and he was 21. Oh he was so damn cute and ran in the popular group in our high school and I did not. I was literally swept away by the idea that this man would actually want to date me much less live with me and then marry me! From the beginning my eyes and heart were clouded by young love. But this man was hiding a secret that took me years to realize.

It began shortly after we were married. I walked into the bathroom before bed and there on the toilet he sat with a porn mag in his hands and an erection. (Now please realize, I really was quite naive in those days about sex and these sort of things even tho' it was the 60's). When I asked him about it, his response was "you really don't turn me on sometimes so I like to look at this to help me get excited." Yes that should have been the first clue you say, but oh I was so naive and so in love. (Later to realize I was in love with the image of the high school popular guy and not actually this man).

This man would ask me to do things that I really didn't want to do, but went along with because I didn't want to seem "frigid" as he would tell me I was. He used things on me and eventually introduced the idea of anal sex to me which was painful and degrading.

The anal sex became the "pay back sex" after arguments which made it even more degrading and disgusting, but I went along with it as you see I was young and oh so naive.

These words were all over the blog post I was reading and the Shadow walked into my door and had a seat right at the Table. I brought her a cup of tea and we sat and looked at each other.

Now we have done this many many many times over the past who knows how many years.

The Porn increased to videos and then the computer. There were probably 1000 videos and books in our house. One day I realized I was living with 1000's of prostitutes; still not realizing I was a Prostitute too. You see what happens with porn is that women are then seen as objects to be penetrated in all her openings and look like she loves having ejaculate rubbed all over her. And maybe some women did, but not me. And yet I stayed quiet.

I was my ex's living prostitute and I was behaving like one except there was no payment in cash afterwards. There was only his snoring as he feel asleep and I cried on many nights.

It is hard in this country to get a marital rape conviction. The male judges (and some women) don't see how in the world a wife could be raped. Isn't rape "sex without consent"; sometimes with threat of violence? Isn't it the woman's duty to be available for her husband whenever he wants to be "intimate" (don't I hate that word sometimes!). Aren't the words "I do" a container for "I do whatever, you husband, want me to do in and out of the bedroom?"

It became very clear to me that my orifices (all three of them) were for his pleasure and he automatically assumed that it was my pleasure too. And on most nights there was no "consent", there was only the fear of his mood, his behavior if I denied him his "right" both to watch porn and to repeat what he saw there in our bedroom.

Yes, this blog I read had Shadow knock at my door and of course I let Her in. I am hoping this will be the last time but probably won't as these scars run deep inside me. Those 30 years were formative years for me sexually and it was warped at best. But walking out of that house was the beginning of renewal and healing. It was the beginning of recapturing that which was stolen from me; my self worth, my image of a being a woman, my own Voice of when and how my body would be used by me and by another if and when I would so choose.  

And yet, I will always relate to those who are in the Prostitution business; willingly or unwillingly. Because at the end of the day it is still all about "consent." It all comes down to the man dictating what will be done to the body that is offered up to him either in business or in relationship or in love.

Freedom is returning to the Times when Women invited the Men to the bedroom and they were equal partners, each seeing one another as gifts of the Goddess; each acknowledging that the Body is the container of the sweet Goddess and thus should be honored and treated with respect and kindness. Freedom is honoring the yes and the no!

Freedom is hugging the Shadow one last time and opening the door for Her to leave.
Freedom is knowing that parts of the Shadow will linger for many more years to come.
Freedom is embracing all the nightmares, all the scars and all the lessons in one room of the heart and giving thanks for the ability to now hold them all in sacred container.

May we all be so Free!

So mote it be and blessed be! Aho and Love!

Mother Goddess

How I love growing older. It is in the looking back that I can see how this Journey unfolds. I was brought up learning about this Father God, you know the one who loves you (Jesus Loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so...) but who gets really mad and will punish you if you are bad (introduction to sin). And this Father God (Our Father who art in Heaven...) lives in our heart but also lives in Heaven where we want to go when we die but won't if we are bad and Father God decides we have to be punished for our bad behavior (sin). And so I was always looking behind me; always looking up to the Heaven and trying to do good so I would go to Heaven. And the Church told me that I was made in the image of this Father God, but I was born with Original Sin and so I had to have God's son be born and be crucified so Father God would be able to even look at me; dirty and nasty and evil as I was. Hey what happened to being born in God's image?

I am so totally confused! But I tried not to be and I had this love/hate relationship with the church doctrine, with the Bible, with all that I heard from the pulpit, from my parents and from society.

And when I began to question it all; when I didn't want a Father who was this cruel; when I just knew that God could not be a male, but had to be a Mother I was told that God really isn't either sex. "We just use the patriarchal language of Father, he, him cause we don't want to say "it". Who can have a relationship with an "it"? So why not Mother, she, her, I asked in my teens. "well, because Jesus prayed "Our Father who art in Heaven..." (this was the reason I got in seminary too!) And I found myself arguing, but still being pulled in by the teachings because well, because....

I tried, Goddess knows I tried to believe and understand. Heck, I even went to Seminary after I retired. Why? Because I thought God was mad at me for not going when "he" told me to in college and so my marriage to my abusive husband was my punishment for not obeying and by going to seminary then maybe I could get God to not be mad at me anymore! Is this fucked up or what?

So I took 6 months off after I left my church job and began to search and I began at the beginning (In the beginning.....). In hand I had the Bible, my seminary teaching (where I was threatened with being burned at the stake), my Goddess background (yep, never quite let go of that), and my own mind and heart and the journey brought me back to where I knew I was always to be.

And yet I still held on to this notion that this Divine had to not be a sexual being; there had to be balance, that this Divine was both male and female or neither. I had all the pieces but this one that I felt I had to have. I was convinced that I HAD to have the male gods in my pantheon of female goddesses but it just never felt right. And then, omg and then......The Great Cosmic Mother came into my life and there were the missing pieces!

So here I am; My Goddess is Mother Goddess! She is the Creatrix as She can only be. A Father can not birth and feed his creation. He only offers up the seed only, but the female egg has everything she needs to create life (except for the sex of the child). If the child is female there is no Y chromosome found in her at all, but if the child is a male he carries both. ALL of creation carries the X, the female chromosome in their DNA! And only the female can feed her newborn from her own body!

Wow! How did I miss this in all my biology classes? Was it just skimmed over? Probably. With this now in place I can look to the Divine Mother and actually relate to her as made in her image! And a male can do the same because he carries her DNA! But that is not all!

This Creatrix Mother Goddess created as that is what all females are capable of doing (don't get me wrong, not all women are to birth children, but we carry the gift of creation in our DNA, more so then men)! She is the Bisexual Goddess Mother! She has all she needs to Create!!!!!

NO, NO, NO....I am NOT just following the patriarchal way and exchanging a Female God for a Male God. You see, there is no basis at all for a Male God, but all the basis in the world for a Feminine Divine!

Oh I could go on and on and there will even be those who follow the Goddess who will disagree with me and that is ok. This is my Journey and my Path!

But when Goddess opens up the window to see the new sights on this Life Journey it is magnificent and I can't drink enough of it in!

And the Journey continues and the older I get the more I will be able to see more windows opened and closed.

Isn't it grand?

Blessed be!

Sometimes Revelation comes in the quiet of the night!

Sometimes Revelation comes in the quiet of the night while reading a most amazing book.

Sometimes Awareness of ones life comes in vivid words laid out on a page of a book written years ago, but just now comes into hands that have been waiting for a read at such a Time as this!

Sometimes it is Time to embrace where one is on this Life Journey and cease looking back and concentrate on Being!

Sometimes is Now Time!

The Great Cosmic Mother co-written by Monica Sjoo &Barbara Mor has changed my life forever. The Sometime is Now Time!

It is simple really. I have known since my teen years that I saw the Divine, who made me in Her Image, as Feminine! I didn't have the words when I was a teen, but what I did know was that there was something totally wrong about the way our society treated and viewed women. I knew that the church, business, government made rules and decisions that kept women as "less than" and took every opportunity possible to demean, abuse and deny rights to women. And I became a radical feminist.

But I still was apart of a church that did so much damage to so many and filled people with fear as the male leaders used their patriarchal power and control to reinforce and encourage misogyny, racism, and sexism. I was still a part of the work force that did not pay women the same as men. I was still a part of a government that tried to deny women the rights to make decisions regarding their own bodies. And I was married to a man who was addicted to pornography and treated women as sex objects with disdain. I had a love/hate relationship with them all.

Finally, I realized that I had to leave the church and my husband and totally embrace in thought, word and deed the Goddess, paganism and witchcraft. I am a vocal spokeswoman for them all.

But wait, this is not the Revelation I have as a result of this marvelous book. But you see, without all my past encounters with the misogynist institutions and family members, I would not have been ripe for the Revelation!

I was a social worker for 35 years. I worked with families caught in the cycle of abuse; with families torn apart by such so that their children had to come into foster care; with pregnant and parenting teens and the elderly on the last part of their journey. I was dedicated and very good at what I did. I knew this was the way Goddess was pouring HerSelf out into the world: using me as Her Vessel.

I then retired from this work and tried my hand at other jobs, and now find myself working part time as an accounts payable assistant.

Revelation?

Well, you see for the past 4 years I have been struggling with no longer "serving my neighbor". I kept thinking I should be volunteering, etc. Every now and again I would give my parents money to donate to their food bank, etc.

Revelation? Get to the point, Deb!

Yep, that quiet night as I was reading, I realized that I had in fact done what I came here to do.

That quiet night, I realized that I did not have to volunteer, give money, etc (unless I want too!) to have a purpose in life and to help my neighbor.

Revelation?

I help others every breath I take. I help others, women in particular, as I speak out to my conservative family members, as I educate others on the Goddess, and as I listened to a co-worker as she made the decision to put her cat down today.

Revelation?

I am now preparing myself for the rest of my Life Journey here and in doing that I am preparing myself for my next Life Journey.

It felt kind of weird when that Revelation came to me. It was as if I was saying my time was done here. And I could hear Goddess Laugh! Why must endings be like....The End! Vamous! Out of here!

Revelation?

I am finished with that part of my life. I am now ready to step into the next which has as a large component: relaxing into the woman I have always been, but now AM!  And most of all Being Present. Not looking back to see where I have been and why I am no longer there, and really not looking forward as to what I should be doing. But Being Present!

Revelation!

Yep, pretty simple I know, but big for me. And what did it take but a Powerful Book in my hands at just the right time. Not too early, not too late, but exactly right!

Amazing how She works, right?

Blessed be!