STOLEN VOICE

I often try to remember when I had Voice!

Maybe when I threw temper tantrums as a two year old, but then my mother took a belt to me and I stopped.

I often try to remember when I had Voice!

Maybe when I stood up to the Junior High tough girls and got beaten up in the ally after school. I stopped.

I often try to remember when I had Voice!

Maybe when I argued with the pastor about the treatment of women in the church and the representations of women in the Bible. And he told me it was God's decision that women should not be in leadership in the church, that girls could not light the candles or carry the cross. And I stopped asking, but I was madder than hell!

I often try to remember when I had Voice!

And what comes to mind is the night before my wedding when my mom said to me: "you have to give 150% in this marriage, you have to let your husband make the decisions, you make his coffee in the morning and you don't argue with him. You make him happy and that will make you happy." And I tried, as much as I knew in my heart this was not right, I tried.

I often try to remember when I had Voice!

Maybe when I couldn't understand why my new husband went into the bathroom with a porn magazine before we went to bed and had sex and when I asked him he said, "you don't turn me on, so I need to look at other women first." And I laid there and let him have his way because that was what a wife did. And the Voice became silent.

I often try to remember when I had Voice and I realize that I can't remember. I can only remember having someone else's Voice. Either my mom, or my teacher, or the pastor, or the president of the country, or the Sunday School teacher, but not my Voice!

It was stolen from me and I didn't know it so I could stop giving it away!

But my Voice returned and I said, "I'm done and I'm leaving your sorry abusive ass!"

My Voice said, "I will no longer be treated like this and I retired."

My Voice said, "This Christian Tradition has ruined too many women, including me and portrays women as second class citizens and I left."

My Voice! My Divine Feminine Voice! My Voice that leads me to the Truth! It is getting stronger every day! It is taking risks that I thought it never would! My Divine Voice is empowered by Goddess!

I often try to remember when I had Voice!

It is NOW!