Sunday, August 31, 2014

Claiming Croneship once again!

I really am Convinced that one can never get enough Self-Affirmation! And I don't mean the "oh ain't I amazing" kind of Self-Affirmation; although as Women we have to do that every Minute of the day for sure, cause the World won't do it for us!

That being said:

Yesterday, August 30th, I turned the Wheel to age 62! Oh where has the Time gone I say so often. I Love getting Older as I am now able to look Back and View my Life through different Lenses; I get to actually see where my Ego was in Charge and where I let Goddess take over; I get to See where I was Offered a Crossroads and took the Path traveled by so Many and ended up Miserable from my own Choices; and I get to Witness the Times I actually took the Road Less Traveled and Saw and Experienced things and People who changed my very Soul! Ahhh.....looking back is Good.

But then there are Times; like Happened to Me yesterday, that we don't Think to do very often and yet we must find Time to do them. We need to Listen for the Call of the Divine to Self-Affirm and that was what happened on my Walk yesterday Morning.

It was Hot and Steamy at Dawn and yet I heard Gaia calling my Name, so off I went. I have a "forest" I walk in but only in the fall, winter and early spring. During the summer it is filled with Copperhead snakes, tics and mosquitoes. But yesterday, I knew I had to go and be Embraced; return to the Womb of Gaia, on the day I was pushed out from my Mother's Womb 62 years ago.

 I only went in enough so that I could feel Her embrace! Surrounded by the weighted Tree limbs; Soaking in the Green Colors; Smelling the Decay; Breathing in the sweet Smells of Gaia! I stood up on the fallen Tree trunk, held out my Hands and looking up spoke these Words, "I AM Goddess Deb! I am Lady of the Forest! I carry Earth Energy and thus Am connected to the Very Ground upon which I walk! I AM!"

As I walked from the Embrace of the Forest (with numerous mosquito bites I discovered later! arggg) I looked up at the Tres. The Wheel is Turning and my Gram taught me that the Leaves and other Vegetation will begin to look Tired before they Turn into Brilliant Colors. And I could Sense their Tiredness; their Readiness for Rest and I stood and said, "I AM Goddess Deb! I am getting Tired as the Wheel turns to 62 years of Walking in my Moccasins upon this Sacred Ground! But like You, My Colors are just now Beginning to Show Brightly and then it will be Time for Rest as Winter comes upon Us."

To the Lake I went as I Heard Grandmother Tree whispering: "Come sweet Goddess Deb!" And there She stood; Regal; Tall, Strong, Weathered, Beautiful....Just Like Me! And I embraced Her and She embraced me. And I kissed Her Hardened Bark and exchanged sacred DNA with Grandmother Tree. And we were One at that Moment.

The Altars I set when She claimed me as Her Own remain by Her strong roots. I placed my Hands on Grandmother Tree and said these words: "I AM Goddess Deb! I am Virgo Goddess! I Carry Earth Energy and yet have been Gifted with the Ability to See into the Cosmos; to Travel the Solar System! I Carry Brown Bear, Wolf and Mouse Energy. I am of the Turtle Clan. My Violet is buried here as I carry Violet Energy. I AM one with the Earth; with Gaia! I have been Chosen to Walk Heavily on this Earth, to Speak Loudly, but to meet Others at the very Base of their Trees of Life and Walk their Journey for a Time Designated by the Goddess."

I could feel The entire Universe Smile! I could Hear Goddess breathe in my Words and Breathe them back out into the World. I felt Whole and Replenished and Called!

As I stood there with my Hands on Grandmother Tree, I heard the Lady of the Lake Splashing my Name! I turned and all became very Silent. No longer did the boats Race by dragging water skiers; no longer did the Birds sing and the Crickets speak. No, at that Moment, I sensed the Lady of the Lake Rising up and Covering me with Her precious Water as a Crown Full of Stones worn smooth by the moving Water. And I knew at that Moment, that I had been Crowned once again Crone, the Wise One, the Messenger, the Compassionate One, the Holder of Stories of Old and New, the Witch of the Goddess Table!

I don't tell this story to brag or say how Special I am. I tell this Story as a Reminder that this isn't just for certain Women. We all must make Affirmations such as what happened here. We cannot wait for another to affirm for us! NO! And it may feel uncomfortable as we are trained to think we are not worthy of this. We feel that we are holding ourselves above others and that is a big no-no in the patriarchal world we live in....but WE KNOW that we are all Equal! We have been called for different Purposes, different Seasons and different Callings. Sometimes I need you to take care of me so I can rest and other times I need to care for you! But there is not Lesser than...there is Just You and Me and Us!

So find your time to Self-Affirm. You don't have to go on a walk, or go to the Forest, or anything dramatic; just go into the bathroom and look in the mirror and Listen and Speak! It is Your Turn! It is Our Turn! It is Our Time!

Blessed be and much love! 

Saturday, August 23, 2014

It's been a Misognystic Kind week....oh wait that is every week!

Maybe it's because I am getting ready to turn 62 in a a week.

Maybe it's because I am reading more Feminist books.

Or Maybe, just maybe it's because Misogyny is just so much a part of who we are, that even enlightened women don't seem to see it any more, unless it is some politician spouting anti-contraceptive language on our TV, interrupting our entertainment that is also full of woman-hating, woman demeaning messages.

Definition of Misogyny: dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.

I have been a Feminist since my teens. This "rebellion" went against everything I was taught in my family and church. It went against the shows I watched on TV: Father Knows Best; and against the '50's family values that a woman's place was in the home, barefoot and pregnant.

This "rebellion" is still being classified by many in my family as, "hippie, 60's stuff" or as my mom told me: "you are just a product of your generation." (i.e. it is time for you to grow up and get over all of this silly stuff).

So this week it has been slammed in my face at work.

First, I was talking to a man who I have had many conversations with. I walked up on him with his hand in the copier and it looked stuck. My comment was, "Sean, is your hand stuck in the copier?" He said, "No!" I then said, "Oh I guess not or you would be screaming in pain." His reply?

"You would never catch me screaming and crying like a little girl!!!!!!!!!"

Now maybe it is because I am going to be 62 in a week, or I have read too many feminist books lately or because I am still a hippie rebellious person, but this comment went all over me!

And out of this beautiful mouth of mine came these words:

"Well, that was a very misogynistic comment." (I really didn't even think he would know the word, but he did.)

He got very defensive and took issue with me. I pointed out the obvious about this statement and what it said about girls and women and how that was misogynistic. He didn't agree with me, but that was ok, I got my point across and all the men in the room were listening and probably didn't join in the woman bashing as I AM the owner's sister!

Second and the most telling and disturbing:

I came upon one of the women I work with who was very upset. Her younger sister is getting married in a month and she is the Maid of Honor. Alecia has worked very hard on the shower, bachelorette party, etc. She had been receiving text messages from her sister telling her not to get overly dressed up for the wedding as the bride didn't want her sister to "out shine her". Alecia said her sister was very demeaning about how she over dresses and puts on too much makeup and is prettier than her anyway. Her sister told her that it was "her" day, "she" was the bride and "she" didn't want anyone looking at anyone but "her".

Now, I must say Alecia does not on any given day look "over made up." She is a beautiful woman and likes to dress nice. Needless to say, my friend had her heart broken but was very angry.

Do you see it? Do you see the competition that women have been taught to have by the patriarchal misogyny? Here is one sister literally calling out another sister about her appearance and especially how not to be more "attractive" than her so as not to "out shine her". Is this crazy or what?

Crazy? No! It is Misogyny at it's most potent. It is the part we miss. It is the part that says, "Two women can't live in the same household/can't be in the kitchen together/can't be best friends." It is the part that has women say "I am only friends with men! Women are too catty and bitchy and will knife you in the back in a heart beat."

Can you imagine this woman's husband saying to his best man, "Now dude, I don't want you to shave for the wedding 'cause I want to look better than you since it is "my" day and I want all eyes on "me".

Women are our own worst enemy! I keep saying it over and over. The War on Women will not be Won until Women refuse to join in the Misogyny! I have found that Women are the Worse Women Haters! We gossip about other women, we tear down other women, we demean other women. Men could just sit back and rest awhile because in my mind Women are doing the Work of Hating Women for them.

Yes, this is a big button for me as you can see.

These are only two of the daily examples of why women are still seen as "second class" and should be beat up, spit up, sexualized, paid less, etc.

And yes, I will be 62 in a week and I will NOT stop being Vocal about my passions. Just because I can now apply for Social Security does not mean I am done with my fight for Women to be Human Beings. We are not waiting for anyone to give us our rights! We have them and must claim them!

Blessed be!

Saturday, August 9, 2014

A week of Aging!

This past week was interesting to say the least. My Sister and I drove my parents to Pennsylvania so our Mom could visit her Sister, Sister in law and her Nieces. She also wanted to stop by the House she lived in until she was 11, when they moved to Virginia. Her parents moved back to that house after I was born; thus it is the Home that I knew and loved as Gram's house. It was a week of Aging!

My parents are both 81 and Dad just can't and won't (thank goodness) make that long drive anymore (11 hours). My Sister and I are happy to do it and get to see our relatives also. We were all closer to my Mom's side of the Family.

It was a week of Aging and Dying.

My Mom is a Storyteller (much to our chagrin sometimes as she tells the same stories over and over); and so there was much telling of Stories of times Gone by. There was Talk of how the buildings had aged, the vegetation was overgrown and of the people who were now buried deep inside Hays/South Easton Cemetery! (Yes, there was a trip to visit my grand and great grandparents burial places.)

It was a week of Death, Dying and Aging!

And it was a picture of life as we move into that time of More Years behind us then in front of us! Story telling was the theme of the week.

Stories are important. These oral Traditions make sure we have a Container for what has made us who we are. It is a Container full of the Puzzle Pieces that we all struggle to fit together into a coherent picture of Life!

I have two maternal aunts left; one my mom's sister and one her sister-in-law. My mom's sister is in the last stages of Alzheimers. She no longer can tell Stories or even appreciate the ones my Mom tried to tell her. And so we sat around and told stories about her as if she too was buried in the ground along side my grandparents. Alzheimer is a Disease where you Grieve the person's death twice!

My mom's sister-in-law is in a nursing home at 92 years of age and has begged to Die for the last 11 years (since mom's brother died); and yet she is still hanging in there, playing Solitaire and Drinking Vodka...yep at the nursing home! She told lots of Stories although her Memory is getting weaker. Now unable to walk unassisted, she just waits at the nursing home for the "relief of death'.

My Dad had a few "heart episodes" while on the trip and on Friday he sees the cardiologist for the next step after tests before we left. He told my Sister and I that he had said Good Bye to both my Aunts knowing "one of us won't be here this time next year and it may be me."

It was a trip of Aging, Death and Dying!

But it was so much a Trip about Life! We laughed, we told stories, we ate lots of ice cream, we spent a lot of time in the car; we gossiped, we prayed, we bought 8 Shoofly pies at the bakery and we had a good time . We found out that my dad's sister-in-law in Virginia who has terminal cancer was put in the hospital and so there was the talk of what life would look like for his brother who is Aging and not well. They are both in their 90's.

And I was talking about applying for Social Security in the next few months and one of my sister's friends from high school died of brain cancer at age 52.

We got home fine; and while doing laundry and unpacking I began thinking that it is possible that we will be going to a few funerals this year. But isn't that what we all have in common? One day we will all face the whole Aging, Death and Dying time of our lives! 

Just like the Trees of the forest, the Animals, the fish and Mamma Earth Her very Self! And come Monday, even the Moon Goddess will begin to Disappear and Die in the Sky. BUT She teaches us that what ever happens there is fullness after every Death; whether that is physical, emotional, or spiritual.

So as I gaze at Grandmother Moon in all her fullness I will give thanks for the Light each of these people have brought into my life. I will cherish the Memories, the Stories, and all the times we will have together until the Quietness of Death calls each of us Home! And I will even appreciate Mom's Stories as it is the Container that holds the pieces for the Puzzle of my Life!

And it is all Good! So let's just celebrate when we can!

Love and Light!