Much has been on my mind of late about this personality I have had since, oh I don't know...BIRTH!
What I have been meditating on is this: Is it possible that my Purpose for journeying this lifetime has been fulfilled? Have I already done the work I came to do? If so, then what does that mean for the rest of my life here on this Journey? Is my "Life" over, as I know it?
I have spent much time with SEKHMET this week as I ponder these questions.
Here is what She told me in no uncertain words!!!!!
1. Yes, I have completed my "purpose" in life. I came to be the Mama Bear ,not only for my own children, but for those children who were abused and neglected and abandoned for the 33 years I did social work. I then was the Mama Bear the 2 years I did International and Domestic Adoptions. Even at seminary, I had adopted daughters and sons, who I mentored through those years in "real life" operating systems.
2. Well done! I heard SEKHMET say loudly to me.
3. Yes, I have completed my "purpose" in life. I marched for peace and civil rights. I have been a very outspoken Voice for the marginalized, impoverished and forgotten. I have supported causes others would not take a second look at and I stood against the Porn industry when I left the husband of 30 years.
4. Well done! I heard SEKHMET say loudly to me.
Then there was quiet.
So what is my purpose now, SEKHMET? What am I to take on? What cause needs my voice. Am I just being lazy, working only 20 hours a week when I could be working 40 hours a week? Am I crazy for taking my Social Security now, so I can only work 20 hours a week? What am I to do with my time? I feel like a lazy good for nothing woman. No one to care for, no causes I am actively fighting. My mom tells me I should volunteer with all these extra hours I now have. That I should be doing SOMETHING WITH MY TIME!
Here is what I heard:
1. Your purpose is to now care for YOU! It is YOUR TIME! You have worked more hours than many over your lifetime. You have seen and done things others would cringe at, if they knew all that you did as a social worker. You were the Lionness, the Mama Bear and the Wolf! You howled to make changes in laws. You kept your kids and other kids safe as you possibility could, and you walked the path of Peace all while seeing and experiencing the horrors of abuse, neglect and mental illness outside and inside your home.
2. Stop feeling guilty that you now have Time for YOU! Stop feeling like you have to fill your time with something others think is worthy. Stop! You deserve now to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, and how you want to do it and with whom you want to do it. That includes doing NOTHING!
3. You still have a compassionate heart that reaches out to others as you feel called to do so. But now, you have time to sit with me, SEKHMET and learn at my feet! You have time to ponder questions deeper than you have before for no other reason but it is fun and fulfilling; even if you never share it with another human being.
4. You just happened to be called to complete your Big Tasks earlier in your life. Now you are reaping the sweet joy of Living in your own time and space.
And there was Stillness.
Do I know how to do that? Can I really give in to not Planning for the next thing? Can I actually sit and read a book for hours without thinking what I "should" be doing next? Can I actually focus on caring for Me?
It feels right and freeing! It feels like, I have opened up Sacred Space not only for me but for others as well. It feels like the New Beginning that has been bubbling in my Cauldron of late.
Today, I begin to appreciate the Gift of Time; of My Time!
I think I will have a cup of hot cocoa on this 98 degree day and go see how Harry Potter, Ron and Hermione are doing at Hogwarts! And then maybe I will just sit and watch the Hummingbirds stopping by for their evening meal. And then maybe I will watch brainless TV!
Yep....The Gift of Time...Me Time! I earned it the hard way! It is mine!
Blessed be!
