Re-membering

A friend of mine posted on Facebook that she was having flashbacks of memories this week. She didn't know exactly why these were coming to her so powerfully at this exact time. My response to her was it was the process of Re-membering!

For me there is a difference in remembering and Re-membering. Remembering to me is when we sit back and intentionally bring back memories; good or bad. We remember when we lost our first tooth, we remember getting on the bus for kindergarten that first day, we remember our high school graduation, we remember getting beaten by a parent or bullied by a peer. We sit and we go back and recapture what happened and how we felt about it and what outcome we may or may not have wanted.

Re-membering is very different. It is the process of re-attaching something that was taken from us, the process of re-framing something that was done, said or that happened so that the effects can be reattached to us, and it is also claiming our right to either accept or deny the message that was contained in that which happened in, with, through or to us! I think of it as a arm or leg that is amputated and then re-attached to our body and we have to re-learn how to use it or live with it as it is.

Memories that come upon us are like that I think. They are gifts from Goddess as we make sense of this journey through Her Garden.

Stephanie and I did this when I was visiting her last week. All of a sudden a memory would come up and we had the opportunity to talk about it as it happened and how to make sense of it and how to take what happened and make it a part of our lives not separate from us. That is hard especially when the memories are less than happy or hopeful!

It is not healthy to try and throw away the bad shit that happened and happens to us. We don't have to let it define us, but we must make peace with it. We must acknowledge that it did in fact happen and learn the lesson from it in a healthier way and then re-member it to who we are: beautiful, healthy, whole, blessed children of a loving and accepting and caring Goddess!

Re-membering and remembering are there for us to use for our own strengthening and empowering for the next leg of our journey. It helps us see ourselves and others through the only Eyes worth looking through: those of the Goddess! And since we are the Divine, those are our Eyes!

Blessed be!

Divine Appointments

The one very positive thing about getting older is the ability to look back over my life and watch the video play! What I most like to pause and reflect on are those Divine Appointments! Here is my definition of Divine Appointments: those times when Goddess orchestrates moments that surprise us, move us, or move others. It is those unexpected moments, those times when once we view them after the fact we know that it was only by the hand of Goddess that what happened happened. And sometimes these appointments use us to help another, or use another to help us; sometimes these appointments bring about heartache and sometimes joy; these appointments often wow us but sometimes they happen in a very quiet moment that only we are aware of. They are moments we say, "wow, Goddess sure had a hand in this."

Now don't get me wrong, I do believe that Goddess has our back; sometimes She actually moves us like chess pieces and other times She sets us free to move ourselves even if it is not what She would like. But Divine Appointments are those times when She definitely has a hand in what is happening and She set it up way before it happened. Sometimes we don't even know that we have been involved in a Divine Appointment because we aren't open to seeing through the Veil!

This evening I was remembering one such time. I was at the grocery store after work and in a hurry to get home. It was a hot summer day and as I drove out of the parking lot my eyes were diverted to an elderly woman pulling a cart behind her full of groceries. She was struggling to walk in the heat and with the heavy cart. As I came upon her I thought, "I need to stop and ask if I can take her home. The cart would fit in the back of my car as it was small and I figured she lived close by as she was walking." Divine Appointment!!!!

I would like to tell you that I stopped and did just that. I would love to say that I put this elderly woman in my car and drove her home and that Goddess had used me in a wonderful way. But I did not. I kept on driving. I let this elderly woman pull her cart home in the heat of the day. Yep; that's what I did because I was in a hurry to get home. I don't even know why I was in a hurry, but I can remember the feeling I had when I drove down the street.

All of a sudden I could hardly breathe; I got shaky; I thought I was going to cry. I began looking for a place to turn around so I could go back and do what Goddess had told me to do, but there was no where and then I heard Goddess say: "I am sorry, you missed the Divine Appointment I had set up for you. Now go home."

I carried this feeling with me for a long time. I found myself looking for another person who needed me to take them home, but there were none. And Goddess said to me, "You cannot go back and try to fix what you did not do. The woman I drew your eyes to was in need of you that day, you were in need of her that day, but you didn't listen. You missed the Divine Appointment!"

I learned a lot that day about Watching and Listening. I don't go through my day looking for Divine Appointments. What I learned to do was to be open to receiving the message. I wake up each day and thank Goddess ahead of time for any Appointments she has scheduled for me; I ask that my mind, eyes, ears and heart be open when that Appointment arrives and if there are none for that day I thank Her for keeping me in mind for another day!

I have listened and followed through more often than not I have to say, mainly because I have also learned that Goddess often doesn't give us a chance to say yes or no; we just find ourselves looking back and saying "wow, that was really cool!" , but it is those times where I see that I didn't that stay with me the most.

Pay attention to those times in your day when you just "happen" to be there when someone needs a smile or a hug; those times when someone needs a shoulder to lean on or help with opening a door; those times when you take the time to say good morning or pick up an elderly woman pulling a cart on a hot day. It's usually in the mundane every day moments that Goddess uses Her magick to make it a Divine Appointment.

We just need to show up!

Blessed be!

Gifts from Gaia

I am in Naples Florida visiting my daughter, Stephanie. Naples is on the Gulf side of Florida where the Sun sets and the waves are calm and the ocean is warm. I love the ocean and I particularly love the Gifts Gaia offers up to us. Most of us "shop" for the most beautiful shells on the beach; leaving behind those that are broken or drab or just not to our liking. I have been one of those people in the past. But this time, it was the "stones" that called my name. Those with holes in them, those broken and those that had no discernible shape! I fell in love with the mundane.

This is not very surprising. I have always been a Voice for those who are broken, those with wounds deep as craters, those with sores open so that the puss is perpetually running out, those who others left behind being too drab and not to their liking. That has been the call on my life. But when it came to shells...oh my goddess...I wanted the best on the beach.

Maybe it was so I could balance out when I was on vacation. Being a social worker I was daily inundated with the poor, the marginalized, the disenfranchised, the broken, the ugly; those who were pushed to the side. They were my life and my passion. So, maybe, it was my way of reminding myself that there was beauty somewhere waiting for me.

Then one day, I was working with this woman who was had a very low IQ; we labeled her as retarded at that time. This woman was a prostitute, a very unsightly prostitute. She had wild untamed black hair, wore the most ungodly makeup, and was dirty most of the time. She wore a black mini skirt with torn web stockings, and a top without a bra. I met her when I was called to the hospital to take custody of her newborn baby. She cried when I told her that I was there to  put her baby in foster care as she had no permanent address and no "legitimate" way of financially taking care of her child. No one mentioned her very very low IQ which was very evident.

So what does this have to do with shells on the beach?

Well, it was Christmas time when she delivered her son and I had set up a visit for her with him at the office. When she walked in the door, all eyes turned toward her. There she was with her hair all awry, her black skirt, her torn stockings and her shirt without a bra.She was quite a sight for sore eyes. But among all that horrific look; on each temple of her head she had put two red stick-on Christmas bows! She came dressed up to see her baby. It was then that I realized that there is beauty in everything, especially those we only see as Ugly, broken and "not like us." I fell in love with this woman on that day.

The story does not have a happy ending for this woman. I worked with her because the law required me to even tho' it was so very evident she was unable to care of a child. She also had no support system and lived literally on the streets. So, after 6 months I petitioned the court to terminate her rights and placed her son for adoption. I remembered how she cried that day and hugged me and even thanked me for taking care of her baby. On some level I really think she thought he was living with me.

She taught me a lot that day she came in for a visit. She taught me to look past the "dressing" that we use to make ourselves acceptable in the eyes of those defining the acceptable. She taught me that love is shown in so many ways and she taught me that I could embrace both emotionally, intellectually and physically those no one else would dare even come close to. Good thing this woman came into my life early in my career as a social worker. She changed the way I worked with those special and beautiful people who came on my path through abuse, neglect, trauma, violence,etc.

So what does this have to do with shells on the beach? Everything! The gifts Gaia presents to us, whether it be walking on a beach or in the forest; whether it be shopping in Walmart or going to our daily jobs; whether it be the children we birth or those we don't; whatever or however we are presented these Gifts it is our free will to pick them up, wash them off and place them on the altar of our heart or leave them lay waiting for someone else who will pay attention!

What do you see? The Sun rising or the Sun setting? What do you see? The Ocean calm or the Ocean rough? What do the Eyes See when Gaia presents Her Gifts? The Eyes are the Windows of the Soul!

Blessed be!

Her Name is Love

It has been an interesting week for me. I have been a little more vocal about my pagan path on my secular Facebook site this week and those who are arrogant enough to think that they are called to save me from damnation are being vocal there. Some quoting scripture and telling me to really think about this change as God is jealous and judgmental and my soul is in big ass trouble, to my 24 year old nephew slandering me about being a witch and a worshiper of Goddesses and crickets. It has been an interesting week.

And so this morning as I was communing with Goddess, I realized that each of us is trying so hard to navigate this life experience in the Garden. We were all created by Goddess and She in Her Wisdom decided that the world would be more colorful if everything and everyone was a bit different. The commonality would be at the Core ~~~~~ Love. But in order for us to be different we had to be given the freedom to make choices as we tried to figure out what Love looks like to each of us. Goddess knows what it looks like, but she wanted each of us to bring our unique take on it into the Web of Life. Unfortunately along the way, there are those humans who become selfish and arrogant and want their way to be the only way and so their choices are to take out those who do not believe as they do.

Then there are those who think that they have been called to make sure everyone's souls are saved for eternity through the belief in one God and that God only. It has become the Religion of My Way or the Highway to Hell! How sad Goddess must be.

And yet Goddess is not giving up! She is still Teaching and Loving and Speaking to Her Children. She is on the move and I think that is why especially the Christian Tradition is becoming so Fearful. They too can feel the Shift happening and when it does it means the crumbling of power and control of the Church. And that will be a grand day indeed.

As I was walking to the Lake She began to Teach through Gaia! The Pine Tree said, "I do not ask the Oak Tree to become a Pine Tree. We stand rooted together in the forest, standing side by side, each offering up our gifts to the Garden. The Daisy then said, "I do not accuse the Rose Bush of being evil because it adorns itself with Thorns. Those thorns teach each of us about protection and is it's gift to the Garden. We grow together and add so much color to the Garden. I would never ask for it to be torn up and thrown away or to be moved to another part of the Garden."

Goddess said to me, "This was my plan for the Garden and still is. I knew the Journey of Love would be tough, but if I had made it easy it would not have been appreciated. I am sorry for those who have chosen Hate over Love. It seems to be the easier path for too many. But I never give up hope that they will find their way to Love. I will not wave my magick wand and make them change. They have to find their own way, just like you have had to find yours. And I do not ask any of my Children to try and make someone come to Me. They must do it on their own, but if how you live the Web of Life entices them to move closer to Love than that is wonderful, but remember all must come to Love on their own."

And so there it is: The Web of Life is the Web of Love! I want to be caught in that Web! I want to be wrapped in a cocoon and Devoured by Goddess! I want to then be transformed into Love that will Light up the World. I try, Goddess knows I try and She knows that on any given day I fail miserably. But, the important thing is that I keep trying. She is calling my Name and that Name is Love.

May Her Sadness turn to Joy as Her Children Find Her in the Garden. Her Name is Love!

Blessed be! 

We stand in awe of a big rock in the sky?

What a beautiful Full Moon last night. Oh she played Peek-a-boo with me as Clouds had to come and try to steal Her show, but when She appeared She was magnificent! I worked magick at the altars I set up in Her honor and lifted up the names of family and friends so dear to my heart; some hurting, some not!

I sat in a chair on my balcony and let Her Beauty and Energy pour over me! I am thankful that my apartment faces Her as She makes Her appearance each night! She not only Charged me with her Energy but she Charged my crystals and stones, my new Athame, Herne and Moon Goddess! Candles lit and incense burning with Native American flute and drum music playing in the background set the stage for a very Magickal Night!

I woke up at 3am to go to the bathroom and She was beaming into my bedroom! As I was standing out on the balcony gazing at Her one more time I heard in my Mind: "You are standing in awe and giving homage to A ROCK in the Sky!"

Yep, a Rock! A Rock that has been caught in the gravitational pull of this Planet we live on. A Rock that controls the Tides and Women's Menstrual Cycles. A Rock that influences all of Creation in one way or another. A Rock that always shows up, is never late and has much to Teach us!

This Rock in the Sky teaches us about Reflecting!

How often I have felt like the Moon! Dry, desolate, hard and cold! I have felt like a stone as I rolled through the days of Darkness. Yet, it always surprised me that people saw me as upbeat and happy and full of love and life during these times!

I was Reflecting the Goddess! She was Shining In, With and Through me even tho' on the inside I knew I was nothing but a hard, dried out rock. I chose not to hide away, but showed up on schedule and on time whether I was Waxing or Waning or Full or Dark! I showed up and reflected Goddess into the World. Not intentionally that is for sure. But it is what we are made to do!

And I was always surprised at that! I wonder if Goddess Moon is. I wonder if She ever questions if Sun will be there when it is time to reflect all, half or none of the Light from Him? I wonder if the Sun ever questions whether the Moon will show up to reflect it back to the Earth in the Darkness of the Night? So if they don't, why do we?

I will always honor the Moon! She is something I can count on to always be there, on time and on schedule. I can count on Her to Reflect back to me the Mysteries of the Universe and to Teach me about my own Waxing and Waning and Shining and Darkness!

Yep....I honor a Humongous Rock in the Sky!

Blessed be!

What is your Magick?

I was all ready. It was 11pm and my TV shows were over and it was Beltane and I wanted to do a ritual at my altar before going to bed. So, I brushed my teeth, lit the candles and then thought, "Oh I want to take a picture of the altar with the candles lit." And I took many because none of them seemed right.

And I was tired I tell you. Like really really tired. But I wanted to do a Beltane Ritual even tho' I was doing it alone. So, I called in the Sacred Directions and invoked Hekate, Persephone and Isis. And I first thanked the Goddesses for watching over my daughter and son and then named friends on Facebook who were in need of Love and Light. I sat on the bed and then heard Herne calling from the Living Room. So I went out (oh, my altar is in my bedroom) and got Him and put him on my altar. As I began to speak to him, I thought, "oh gosh, I need to take a picture now that Herne is on the altar." And I did just that.

I then sat on the bed and looked at the altar and the energy was there and I laid down and tried to imagine doing Magic and I Saw Wolf coming to me and planting the seeds of Teaching in my belly and then Herne came and placed the seeds of Passion for that Teaching and Healing in my belly. And I got up, thanked the Deities and the Directions and went to sleep.

This morning on my walk I felt so embarrassed in front of the Goddess. I told Her that I was sorry that I just didn't seem to have the patience to do rituals; that last night I kept interrupting Sacred Space to take pictures and that I couldn't think of what to say and to do and that I was not a good Witch at all. I questioned my Path and even said, "I am not worthy of the Title of Witch." I began thinking about the Witch Sisters and Brothers I have and their talk of Rituals and Magic and incredible Work that they do and I so wanted to be that Witch. "But alas, I am not", I said to Goddess on my morning walk.

This led me to think about when I was in the Christian Tradition. I was always very involved in the worship services; sang in the Praise and Worship Band, served Communion, Prayed, was an Usher, and even preached a Sermon once or twice. I loved the Liturgy. "Am I on the Right Path?" I cried out to Goddess on my Walk this morning!

And She asked me this question: What is Liturgy? Oh I knew the answer to this question. Liturgy is "the work of the People" I boldly told Her. And I stopped in my tracks. In the Church the Liturgy was never the "work of the People" but it was the "work of the Church." And what was this Work? Brainwashing. I was flooded with memories of reciting creeds, and confessions and prayers that were full of things I found so hard to believe; full of words cloaking the real message of power and control; forgiveness given to us through a man in a robe saying he/she was given the power to speak for God and he/she was the only one there who was given that power.

"What is Your Work, my dear daughter?" "What is Your Liturgy?" And my eyes began to open; I began to see through the Veil and She revealed this to me:

My Magick happens on my Walks. It happens as I listen intently to each song being sung by the birds; it happens when I wave to people either walking or driving by; it happens as I hug the tree and curtsey to the Lake; it happens as I acknowledge the setting Moon and rising Sun or the setting Sun and rising Moon. Magick happens as I converse with Goddess on these Walks, consult with Her, praise Her, lift up others to Her Light! This is my Ritual Magic. It is kinetic and it is Sacred.

She also showed me Magic Happened last week when I walked into the Supervisor's Office at work and said Good Morning and he said, "I am so glad you work here, you brighten up every morning for me." She showed me Magic Happening as people thank me for helping them with their work and for doing a good job. Magic Happens as I hug a co-worker whose mother is dying, pray for a woman facing surgery and support my kids as they struggle to figure out this life!

My Magic, My Liturgy is Being Who I am!

I realized that not all Witches are called to work at an Altar all the time; to create wonderful potions and soaps or even to grow bountiful herbs! But all Witches have their own Magick that defines who they are and how they walk in the Garden.

I am Witch! Healer and Teacher! One that sees the Divine Manifest in all Creation! One that learns from the cycles of nature, its plants and creatures! I am One Who worships Mother Goddess, Triune Mother, Maiden, Crone in all Her Majesty! I am Witch!

So my cauldron may be very small and I may hate to cook, but I sure can conjure up some great feelings in the people I meet each day!

Goddess affirmed my Path today on my Morning Walk. The birds sang, the water flowed and a lizard slept in my fake daffodils last night and greeted me when I came into the apartment as if to say; "I feel safe here because I know Who you are! You are a Witch and you won't hurt me!" No I won't!

  It's Magic!

Blessed be!