Grieving the Harvest

Mabon; the 3rd Pagan Harvest; Autumn Equinox; Falling Leaves, campfires and sweet apples from the tree.

Preparations to make all ready to hunker down for the Winter; tomatoes canned, green beans jarred; herbs hanging to dry.

The sun rises later and sets earlier. We can feel Hibernation time upon us.

We see images painted of Farmers rejoicing as their summer labors come to an end. It is time for all to Lay Fallow for a season with hopes that what was seeded, planted and now harvested will last for the Dark Times ahead.

But this morning I saw something most don't talk about, and that is the Sadness that this time brings. I am not referring to SADD or even how hard the upcoming holidays are for some people.

No, I am talking about the Sadness of Barrenness.

The obvious is to think of women who find out they are unable to carry a child within their Wombs. We call them Barren. Space meant for seed planting, growth and then harvest lies Barren due to no fault of the woman.

But Barren comes in unexpected places. It comes after an Idea has been Seeded, Watered, Fed and Harvested. You know, that time when even tho' there is great joy in the Idea taking form, there is this sense of Barrenness, we wonder what will now fill this space.

We know this when a loved one dies. The Emptiness that is so overwhelming that nothing will take the Barrenness away. We find ourselves looking back at the Spring and Summer of our Time with this person or animal and then realize that we now have to prepare for the Winter Darkness of Barrenness.

It is evident when our child leaves home and we walk by their bedroom and see how Barren it is. How do we rejoice in the Harvest of a child grown enough to leave the Field we call Home? How do we survive with just phone calls, texts and emails (often just from time to time); what do we do with that feeling of Emptiness when what we think we should be doing is Being glad the hard work is over and we can sit back and rest for awhile? How do we do Barrenness? 

No, Harvest does not always bring happy, settled, comfortable times. Sometimes the Winter is harsher than we expected; the food supplies run out; the Wood for warmth stays too wet to burn from the heavier than expected Snow that sits and never melts.

We are cold, hungry, lost and worried that we will not see the next Spring, the next time to Plant, Care for, and Harvest. The Barrenness is too much to take and we get depressed and long for when the Sun Rises early and Sets late. But then we know, the work will again be long and hard.

The Journey is finding that Balance where During the Growing Season we find those times to Rest and Enjoy and During the Hibernation Season we find new ideas, new seeds, new planting strategies and new recipes for the overabundance of tomatoes that we now tire of.

Ahhh.....Autumn! It is a wonderful Season and the Sabbat of Mabon lets us rejoice in the Harvest! We make corn dolls, eat caramelized apples, set next to the bonfire gathering the warmth as we watch the yellow and red leaves fall from the trees around us.

And yes, for most there is this nagging deep down inside that we are sad that the Harvest is over. We are sad to see the Barren Fields so devoid of life out our own back door. All that work and now it is gone.

But you see, we are never ever totally Barren. We just Lay Fallow for a Season, be it a day, a month or longer. It is allowing our Selves to be comfortable in Grief as that is what prepares us for the Next Growing Season. We begin to get restless and open up those seed catalogs; we put in that new job or school application; we accept that offer from a friend to meet her for lunch; or we join the circle of women who are also grieving the Harvest!

We are Never Barren! We are made of Rich Soil that awaits the next Seed to be planted.

This is a natural cycle; just another Turning of the Wheel. And the way we choose to move with the Wheel will show us the next Awakening Time in our Lives. So sit and rest; enjoy the Harvest, but Listen and Watch for that Restlessness that Signals the Turning of the Wheel. And when you do....get out those Seeds and Plant like crazy! Another Planting and Harvesting Season is just around the corner!

Blessed be!

Why I stayed

A lot has been on my mind with the whole Ray Rice thing going on. You know, the NFL, Ravens star player, domestic abuse issue? You know, the video, well the two videos that finally got the NFL commissioner to take a stand with punishments for this behavior, which at first were pretty lenient, but now are stronger? You know, the story that poor Ray Rice not only got cut from his multimillion dollar a year job with the Ravens, but also got suspended indefinitely from ever playing football again?

You know, the story that now has his wife (then girlfriend when he beat the shit out of her on video) speaking out to the press about how unfair this is and how he is a good man and that she does not fault him? You know.....THAT story.

Well, it got me to thinking about my own 30 year marriage and I had to ask the question: So why did I stay?

You see the Signs were there from the very beginning. Even his mom who adored me tried to warn me, saying over lunch, "you may want to rethink marrying my son. You are in love with love and he is in love with sex." Well, darn...ya think? He was a 21 year old man...aren't all men in love with sex and all women in love with love? What I didn't know was how prophetic she was being as within a matter of months the sexual demands and then abuse and sexual addictions raised their ugly horrific heads. So why did I stay?

And then there was his boss who took me to lunch (we hung out with him and his wife) one day and told me that if I was smart I would move out and cut my losses and leave my husband. He said, "He isn't who he portrays himself to be and my wife and I are really scared for you." So why did I stay?

That is the question being asked by so many now of Ray Rice's wife....so why did she marry him, if what he did was so horrific? And why is she staying?

And why did I?

You see I stayed for 30...count them 30 fucking years! And that is not a pun for sure!

So not to go into the gory details as most of you can find them other places on my blog, but suffice it to say that this man I decided to marry never once physically hit me; drag me; or physically abuse me. Nope....he just sexually abused me and emotionally and spiritually and psychologically abused me to the max. But you see, don't you, that him not hitting me made me think he was not abusing me.

Now get this: I was a social worker in child and family abuse. Yep...right there in the midst of it working with abused women too. And I would go home every day and not once think I was being abused. I just knew I was continually being put down and expected to do things sexually that I hated! It wasn't until I was continuing therapy after I left this SOB that my therapist finally got me to realize that I had been an abused woman! Holy fucking shit! And to think....me the social worker never figured that out? So why did I stay?

The same reason Mrs. Ray Rice is staying. We were both lied to by the patriarchal culture that has convinced us within a shadow of a doubt that it is our fault that everything happens to us and that on some level we deserve it...us worthless pieces of  shit! And so we stay. Now that seems like an easy cop-out so let me count the other reasons I stayed (only realizing these after some time in therapy and reflection!)

1. I was 20 when I was married in a church and my vows said "Until Death Do you Part." I was told that these vows were make in front of God and that he would be one pissed off god if I ever left this man.
2. I wasn't willing to kill him to get out of the marriage although I will confess that the thought occurred to me many a nights after I laid in the bed next to this man who had just raped me anally as payback for an argument we had.
3. He had done such a great brainwashing on me that I really didn't believe I could survive on my own.
4. I had children with him and I so wanted my children to not be from a "broken home"; so let me assure you that our home was as "broken" as possible and we were all "intact"! Another duh...really  moment!
5. I truly believed that since I had made my bed, I had to lie in it forever. Even when going to my pastor for counseling (major mistake) I was told that it was my responsibility to understand my husband's need for sex and that I was to stay and help him at all costs. Even after revealing all the porn in the house, the pastor told me I was Hosea (from the Old Testament) and it was God's will for me to stand by this man.
6. I didn't want to FAIL! I come from a long line of no one gets divorced in our family and I didn't want to be that first born, practically perfect (haha!) woman who could not keep her family intact.
7. My husband was also a social worker and threatened to take my kids away from me as he had a degree in Parent Education and would win in court. And I believed him...he was that good at convincing me it was all my fault!
8. I was an Abused Woman....that is why I stayed.....we don't know how to get out! We don't have the confidence or the self esteem to look the devil in the eye and say "Go Fuck Yourself!" And so we stay!

But you see one day, it was Enough! One day all the 30 years of this Man telling me I was NOT Enough...was Enough. But what opened the door was finding out how much damage had been done to my kids as they were growing up and I could not have them watch me stay in this marriage. I owed it to my son to demonstrate what a Strong Confident Self-Assured Woman looked like and I owed it to my daughter to show here how not to repeat the pattern!

This is what People don't get: IT'S THE PATRIARCHAL CULTURE that causes women to Stay and people to get upset when the NFL comes down on a man, who beats the living hell out of his girlfriend, after she marries him and says he did no wrong!

Here's the clue:

In May, the couple spoke to reporters about the case in a press conference publicized by the team.

"I do deeply regret the role that I played in the incident that night," Janay Rice said.

"I love Ray, and I know that he will continue to prove himself to not only you all, but the community, and I know he will gain your respect back in due time," she said.

Ray Rice said he was sorry to the Ravens owner, general manager and head coach.

"I also want to apologize to my fans, to the kids, everyone who's affected by the situation me and my wife are in," he said.

One person he didn't apologize to that day? His wife.

Do you see why she won't leave? 

Here is the catch: EVEN IF SHE STAYS, SHE NEVER EVER DESERVES THIS TYPE OF TREATMENT. 

In a patriarchal culture the question will always be: Why did SHE stay, NEVER why did HE have the right to do this? 

I hope Mrs. Rice wakes up one day before this man kills her. And yes, I hope that the couples counseling they are attending will help him see how he too is caught up in a culture that has him apoligize to everyone BUT his wife. Funny.....my ex never apologized to me either! 

Blessed be! 

 

Claiming Croneship once again!

I really am Convinced that one can never get enough Self-Affirmation! And I don't mean the "oh ain't I amazing" kind of Self-Affirmation; although as Women we have to do that every Minute of the day for sure, cause the World won't do it for us!

That being said:

Yesterday, August 30th, I turned the Wheel to age 62! Oh where has the Time gone I say so often. I Love getting Older as I am now able to look Back and View my Life through different Lenses; I get to actually see where my Ego was in Charge and where I let Goddess take over; I get to See where I was Offered a Crossroads and took the Path traveled by so Many and ended up Miserable from my own Choices; and I get to Witness the Times I actually took the Road Less Traveled and Saw and Experienced things and People who changed my very Soul! Ahhh.....looking back is Good.

But then there are Times; like Happened to Me yesterday, that we don't Think to do very often and yet we must find Time to do them. We need to Listen for the Call of the Divine to Self-Affirm and that was what happened on my Walk yesterday Morning.

It was Hot and Steamy at Dawn and yet I heard Gaia calling my Name, so off I went. I have a "forest" I walk in but only in the fall, winter and early spring. During the summer it is filled with Copperhead snakes, tics and mosquitoes. But yesterday, I knew I had to go and be Embraced; return to the Womb of Gaia, on the day I was pushed out from my Mother's Womb 62 years ago.

 I only went in enough so that I could feel Her embrace! Surrounded by the weighted Tree limbs; Soaking in the Green Colors; Smelling the Decay; Breathing in the sweet Smells of Gaia! I stood up on the fallen Tree trunk, held out my Hands and looking up spoke these Words, "I AM Goddess Deb! I am Lady of the Forest! I carry Earth Energy and thus Am connected to the Very Ground upon which I walk! I AM!"

As I walked from the Embrace of the Forest (with numerous mosquito bites I discovered later! arggg) I looked up at the Tres. The Wheel is Turning and my Gram taught me that the Leaves and other Vegetation will begin to look Tired before they Turn into Brilliant Colors. And I could Sense their Tiredness; their Readiness for Rest and I stood and said, "I AM Goddess Deb! I am getting Tired as the Wheel turns to 62 years of Walking in my Moccasins upon this Sacred Ground! But like You, My Colors are just now Beginning to Show Brightly and then it will be Time for Rest as Winter comes upon Us."

To the Lake I went as I Heard Grandmother Tree whispering: "Come sweet Goddess Deb!" And there She stood; Regal; Tall, Strong, Weathered, Beautiful....Just Like Me! And I embraced Her and She embraced me. And I kissed Her Hardened Bark and exchanged sacred DNA with Grandmother Tree. And we were One at that Moment.

The Altars I set when She claimed me as Her Own remain by Her strong roots. I placed my Hands on Grandmother Tree and said these words: "I AM Goddess Deb! I am Virgo Goddess! I Carry Earth Energy and yet have been Gifted with the Ability to See into the Cosmos; to Travel the Solar System! I Carry Brown Bear, Wolf and Mouse Energy. I am of the Turtle Clan. My Violet is buried here as I carry Violet Energy. I AM one with the Earth; with Gaia! I have been Chosen to Walk Heavily on this Earth, to Speak Loudly, but to meet Others at the very Base of their Trees of Life and Walk their Journey for a Time Designated by the Goddess."

I could feel The entire Universe Smile! I could Hear Goddess breathe in my Words and Breathe them back out into the World. I felt Whole and Replenished and Called!

As I stood there with my Hands on Grandmother Tree, I heard the Lady of the Lake Splashing my Name! I turned and all became very Silent. No longer did the boats Race by dragging water skiers; no longer did the Birds sing and the Crickets speak. No, at that Moment, I sensed the Lady of the Lake Rising up and Covering me with Her precious Water as a Crown Full of Stones worn smooth by the moving Water. And I knew at that Moment, that I had been Crowned once again Crone, the Wise One, the Messenger, the Compassionate One, the Holder of Stories of Old and New, the Witch of the Goddess Table!

I don't tell this story to brag or say how Special I am. I tell this Story as a Reminder that this isn't just for certain Women. We all must make Affirmations such as what happened here. We cannot wait for another to affirm for us! NO! And it may feel uncomfortable as we are trained to think we are not worthy of this. We feel that we are holding ourselves above others and that is a big no-no in the patriarchal world we live in....but WE KNOW that we are all Equal! We have been called for different Purposes, different Seasons and different Callings. Sometimes I need you to take care of me so I can rest and other times I need to care for you! But there is not Lesser than...there is Just You and Me and Us!

So find your time to Self-Affirm. You don't have to go on a walk, or go to the Forest, or anything dramatic; just go into the bathroom and look in the mirror and Listen and Speak! It is Your Turn! It is Our Turn! It is Our Time!

Blessed be and much love! 

It's been a Misognystic Kind week....oh wait that is every week!

Maybe it's because I am getting ready to turn 62 in a a week.

Maybe it's because I am reading more Feminist books.

Or Maybe, just maybe it's because Misogyny is just so much a part of who we are, that even enlightened women don't seem to see it any more, unless it is some politician spouting anti-contraceptive language on our TV, interrupting our entertainment that is also full of woman-hating, woman demeaning messages.

Definition of Misogyny: dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.

I have been a Feminist since my teens. This "rebellion" went against everything I was taught in my family and church. It went against the shows I watched on TV: Father Knows Best; and against the '50's family values that a woman's place was in the home, barefoot and pregnant.

This "rebellion" is still being classified by many in my family as, "hippie, 60's stuff" or as my mom told me: "you are just a product of your generation." (i.e. it is time for you to grow up and get over all of this silly stuff).

So this week it has been slammed in my face at work.

First, I was talking to a man who I have had many conversations with. I walked up on him with his hand in the copier and it looked stuck. My comment was, "Sean, is your hand stuck in the copier?" He said, "No!" I then said, "Oh I guess not or you would be screaming in pain." His reply?

"You would never catch me screaming and crying like a little girl!!!!!!!!!"

Now maybe it is because I am going to be 62 in a week, or I have read too many feminist books lately or because I am still a hippie rebellious person, but this comment went all over me!

And out of this beautiful mouth of mine came these words:

"Well, that was a very misogynistic comment." (I really didn't even think he would know the word, but he did.)

He got very defensive and took issue with me. I pointed out the obvious about this statement and what it said about girls and women and how that was misogynistic. He didn't agree with me, but that was ok, I got my point across and all the men in the room were listening and probably didn't join in the woman bashing as I AM the owner's sister!

Second and the most telling and disturbing:

I came upon one of the women I work with who was very upset. Her younger sister is getting married in a month and she is the Maid of Honor. Alecia has worked very hard on the shower, bachelorette party, etc. She had been receiving text messages from her sister telling her not to get overly dressed up for the wedding as the bride didn't want her sister to "out shine her". Alecia said her sister was very demeaning about how she over dresses and puts on too much makeup and is prettier than her anyway. Her sister told her that it was "her" day, "she" was the bride and "she" didn't want anyone looking at anyone but "her".

Now, I must say Alecia does not on any given day look "over made up." She is a beautiful woman and likes to dress nice. Needless to say, my friend had her heart broken but was very angry.

Do you see it? Do you see the competition that women have been taught to have by the patriarchal misogyny? Here is one sister literally calling out another sister about her appearance and especially how not to be more "attractive" than her so as not to "out shine her". Is this crazy or what?

Crazy? No! It is Misogyny at it's most potent. It is the part we miss. It is the part that says, "Two women can't live in the same household/can't be in the kitchen together/can't be best friends." It is the part that has women say "I am only friends with men! Women are too catty and bitchy and will knife you in the back in a heart beat."

Can you imagine this woman's husband saying to his best man, "Now dude, I don't want you to shave for the wedding 'cause I want to look better than you since it is "my" day and I want all eyes on "me".

Women are our own worst enemy! I keep saying it over and over. The War on Women will not be Won until Women refuse to join in the Misogyny! I have found that Women are the Worse Women Haters! We gossip about other women, we tear down other women, we demean other women. Men could just sit back and rest awhile because in my mind Women are doing the Work of Hating Women for them.

Yes, this is a big button for me as you can see.

These are only two of the daily examples of why women are still seen as "second class" and should be beat up, spit up, sexualized, paid less, etc.

And yes, I will be 62 in a week and I will NOT stop being Vocal about my passions. Just because I can now apply for Social Security does not mean I am done with my fight for Women to be Human Beings. We are not waiting for anyone to give us our rights! We have them and must claim them!

Blessed be!

A week of Aging!

This past week was interesting to say the least. My Sister and I drove my parents to Pennsylvania so our Mom could visit her Sister, Sister in law and her Nieces. She also wanted to stop by the House she lived in until she was 11, when they moved to Virginia. Her parents moved back to that house after I was born; thus it is the Home that I knew and loved as Gram's house. It was a week of Aging!

My parents are both 81 and Dad just can't and won't (thank goodness) make that long drive anymore (11 hours). My Sister and I are happy to do it and get to see our relatives also. We were all closer to my Mom's side of the Family.

It was a week of Aging and Dying.

My Mom is a Storyteller (much to our chagrin sometimes as she tells the same stories over and over); and so there was much telling of Stories of times Gone by. There was Talk of how the buildings had aged, the vegetation was overgrown and of the people who were now buried deep inside Hays/South Easton Cemetery! (Yes, there was a trip to visit my grand and great grandparents burial places.)

It was a week of Death, Dying and Aging!

And it was a picture of life as we move into that time of More Years behind us then in front of us! Story telling was the theme of the week.

Stories are important. These oral Traditions make sure we have a Container for what has made us who we are. It is a Container full of the Puzzle Pieces that we all struggle to fit together into a coherent picture of Life!

I have two maternal aunts left; one my mom's sister and one her sister-in-law. My mom's sister is in the last stages of Alzheimers. She no longer can tell Stories or even appreciate the ones my Mom tried to tell her. And so we sat around and told stories about her as if she too was buried in the ground along side my grandparents. Alzheimer is a Disease where you Grieve the person's death twice!

My mom's sister-in-law is in a nursing home at 92 years of age and has begged to Die for the last 11 years (since mom's brother died); and yet she is still hanging in there, playing Solitaire and Drinking Vodka...yep at the nursing home! She told lots of Stories although her Memory is getting weaker. Now unable to walk unassisted, she just waits at the nursing home for the "relief of death'.

My Dad had a few "heart episodes" while on the trip and on Friday he sees the cardiologist for the next step after tests before we left. He told my Sister and I that he had said Good Bye to both my Aunts knowing "one of us won't be here this time next year and it may be me."

It was a trip of Aging, Death and Dying!

But it was so much a Trip about Life! We laughed, we told stories, we ate lots of ice cream, we spent a lot of time in the car; we gossiped, we prayed, we bought 8 Shoofly pies at the bakery and we had a good time . We found out that my dad's sister-in-law in Virginia who has terminal cancer was put in the hospital and so there was the talk of what life would look like for his brother who is Aging and not well. They are both in their 90's.

And I was talking about applying for Social Security in the next few months and one of my sister's friends from high school died of brain cancer at age 52.

We got home fine; and while doing laundry and unpacking I began thinking that it is possible that we will be going to a few funerals this year. But isn't that what we all have in common? One day we will all face the whole Aging, Death and Dying time of our lives! 

Just like the Trees of the forest, the Animals, the fish and Mamma Earth Her very Self! And come Monday, even the Moon Goddess will begin to Disappear and Die in the Sky. BUT She teaches us that what ever happens there is fullness after every Death; whether that is physical, emotional, or spiritual.

So as I gaze at Grandmother Moon in all her fullness I will give thanks for the Light each of these people have brought into my life. I will cherish the Memories, the Stories, and all the times we will have together until the Quietness of Death calls each of us Home! And I will even appreciate Mom's Stories as it is the Container that holds the pieces for the Puzzle of my Life!

And it is all Good! So let's just celebrate when we can!

Love and Light!

The Promise Land!

It was the summer of 2009. I had been in seminary for a year, had open heart surgery, and was now volunteering at a summer day camp held at one of the local Lutheran churches for Refuge children while waiting for the fall classes to begin.

The children at this day camp lived in the Columbia SC area and all were sponsored by one church or another. A lot of the children couldn't even speak English. Most of them lived in a very run down trailer park in a high crime area of the city. I rode in the van to pick the kids up and I was reminded of my Social Work days going into the Projects checking on abused and neglected kids. These children looked a lot like most of my clients. How could these families still be living like this if churches were helping them????

It was lunch time and I looked around and saw one little girl sitting all by herself. I took my tray over and asked if I could sit with her. She nodded her head and I sat down. We ate in silence. When she had finished eating, she picked up a crayon and began to draw. She was from Mexico and was 10 years old. As she drew she told me her story. I want to share it with you! (Her name was hard to say, so I have forgotten it, which I am very sorry for, but her face will never leave my heart!)

(I am going to tell the story as if she was telling it; thus the "I" and "we" pronouns)

****I lived in Mexico with my mom, dad and two little sisters. My dad would leave for long times looking for work. My mom would do other people's laundry or try and clean houses, but there was no work. We lived in a wooden house without a door and dirt floors. It had two rooms and we went to the bathroom outside in the back yard in the dirt. My sister and I would have to cover it all up. It was one of our jobs. My mom couldn't pay all the bills and they would shut off our electricity and water.

My sister and I would take our clothes to the market and sell them so we could help her pay the bills. Sometimes we had to get into garbage cans to have something to eat.

We are Catholics and at night my mom would tell us about the Promise Land. She would tell us that one day we would all live in the Promise Land and have jobs, and get to go to school, and have plenty of food and not have to sell our clothes. She told us that one day we would be happy and never be sad again. She told us this Promise Land was America.

One night, my sister and I were asleep and our mom woke us up and told us to be very quiet. Outside was most of my family; uncles, aunts and lots of cousins. We couldn't take anything with us; not even my stuffed rabbit that I slept with all the time. Our relatives kept whispering that it was time to go to the Promise Land.

We made it to the water and I knew we had to swim to get there. The water was very rough and cold. I was trying to hold on to my uncle so my mom could hold on to my little sisters. My uncle could not swim and he finally let go of me and went under the water and drowned. Another uncle caught me and helped me in the water. When we got to land 2 aunts and some cousins had drowned.

We ran through lots of trees and bushes and got cut up a lot. But finally we were able to stop and rest. I was so hungry and wanted to go to sleep but they told me I couldn't. We kept going and going until we stopped at this house. We went inside and our family began to cry and thank God that he had brought us to the Promise Land where we would have money and food and clothes and a nice house to live in.******

At this point she stopped talking and I was doing all I could not to sob. I asked her if her life was different now? (remember I picked her up in the van from the run down trailer in the high crime area). She looked into my eyes and for the first time smiled. She said, "Oh yes! We live in a very nice house, and have food and water and I don't have to sell my clothes. My mom cleans "rich" people's houses and they will send her home with clothes for us and sometimes food. And the nice people at the church come and get us for Sunday School and we learn about how good God is to bring us to the Promise Land and tells us to be thankful for all that is being done for us."

THE PROMISE LAND! The United States of America....THE PROMISE LAND!!!!

So when you hear of those who want to ship the kids who are running to our country BACK...remember why they are coming here. It is NOT to deal drugs, steal jobs, or any other sundry of evil reasons (although I am not naive enough to think there is not that going on too)....they believe in their hearts what they hear and see....THIS IS THE PROMISE LAND! The Land of Milk and Honey! The Land where every one has a job, a house, food, clothing, education, and enough and more of everything you will need. AND everyone is HAPPY!

Yes, I am sure on any given day, this little girl feels she is in the Promise Land. Living in the run down trailer where there is a bathroom, running water and electricity is that Promise Land to her. Living where her mom can go to work (she never mentioned her father), and she and her sisters can go to school is the Promise Land. And yet, there are many who desperately want all the refuges/immigrants "to go back from where they came from." Too many of these people are the same ones who go to the churches that sponsor these families.Too many are followers of their Jesus.

Whenever I hear the debates over immigration, whenever I hear about the need to build huge fences around our country to keep all these blood suckers out of our country; I think of this little girl, drawing and tell her story to a white woman who does have more than enough, lives in a very nice place and has never been without what I needed to survive.

I thanked her for telling me her story and told her I was sorry about the relatives who had drowned that night trying to get here. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said nothing. Who wants to be somewhere bad enough that they will get in an ocean of water not knowing how to swim; trusting that god will get them there? Desperate people do that. Hungry, homeless, scared, desperate people do that.

The Goddess I know weeps!

Interesting enough; the next day this little girl did not get on the van and did not come back to the day camp. No one went to ask why or to check on her. I was told; "This is what Those People do." The Social Worker in me cringed. And I would ask over and over again: What would Jesus do? Don't you think he would go and check on her (remember I was in seminary)? I never got a clear cut answer and I was not allowed to go and follow up myself.

I think of this 10 year old child from Mexico and wonder if the Promise Land is all it was portrayed to be. And I reflect on the number of times the President and others in charge remind us that this is The Greatest Country on Earth. Yes, the Promise Land. And then I think about that great statue in the New Harbor. This is what she says:

 Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

(Poem on the Statue of Liberty)

Blessed be!

Reflecting or Being the Light?

In my part of the Forest it is the First Day of Summer; Summer Solstice; Litha! We celebrate the Longest day of the Year, even if it only means 5 seconds of more Sun! Ah...the Sun! Huge, fiery, missed when we have had days of rain (which we have not); can cause burns on our skin and lead to cancer. Ah...the Sun!

I was thinking about a discussion I had in seminary with my Missiology (the area of practical theology that investigates the mandate, message, and mission of the Christian church, especially the nature of missionary work) Professor. I made the comment in a paper that we live in a Dark World. He totally disagreed and this carried into the classroom for discussion.

You see, for me, the World is Dark. I worked in social work for 33 years and saw the Darkness; I marched against an unnecessary War in the 60's as I was seeing the Darkness; I lived through an emotional and sexual abusive marriage for 30 years and watched as my children suffered the results of this man's actions, words and beliefs; yep...Dark World!

The Professor (whom I adored!) said that the world was not dark as Jesus was the world. It was just that we have forgotten how to reflect his light into the world.

My position was that the World is Dark and We are to Reflect Ourselves into the World; Us who carry the Light, the Love and the Understanding of how we are to Treat one another and all of Creation. Of course, this did not bode well in a Christian seminary that I was saying that "I" have the Light and Love that the World needs.

Today as the Sun Shines with all Her Might down upon the Northern Hemisphere, I am thinking about Light. I am thinking about the World that has so much Darkness in it. And I am Thinking about all the Light and Love that is in the World but gets Smothered over by all the Constant Oozing of Hatred, Bigotry, Misogyny, Corruption, Abuse, Lies, Betrayal, War, and Self-absorption. I still hold that this is a Dark World, but only because Human Beings have Decided that Living in the Darkness is the preferable Way to live.

But WE Know differently! We the Witches know this is not true! We the Goddesses know that the Light comes from Within! We Are the Light and the Love! Those before the onslaught of Patriarchal Religion and Thought, always Knew this to be Truth. But when the Male God came into being; the message was one that we were the Dark Ones and only through him could we even begin to get a glimpse of any Light and Love and most of that would be after we leave this planet. And only believing in him could we even have hopes of being Good enough to be anything but Dark.

What a shame! What a terrible Shame! We do not Reflect the Light of a Divine Being...WE are the Light of the Divine! We are the Divine! And as such we Shine as Bright as the Sun.

So then why is the world so full of Darkness, Terror, Nightmarish Actions of the most Intelligent Creatures here on Earth? Why? Because we have Forgotten. We have been Brainwashes by those who wish us to Believe that we are the Scum of the Earth, we are the Dark Sinful Creations, even tho' WE are the only ones actually made in the Creators image. Makes my head hurt!

The Sun is Shining Brightly here in my part of the Forest and I think about the Light and Love that is Each of Us. I See it every Day and yet, it Never makes the News and seldom is the Topic of Sermons.

I see it on facebook as we each hold and support one Another as we Travel this World that wants to Convince us that it is a Dark Place. I see it as my Kale and Rosemary grow and the birds come and Dine at my Feeder. I see it as a Card shows up just at the right Time, and as my Son and Daughter sat with Me as the Sun was going Down and Love Poured out from Everywhere! I see it All around me, but others don't see it.

We must make sure we Re-member that Light! We must not be brainwashed any longer in  believing that this Forest, this Garden is Dark. For you see, just like the pilot light under the gas water heater, the Light burns even when it seems the Light has gone out. Look UP! In the Darkest of Nights, the Stars are there as is Grandmother Moon. Even if the sky if covered with clouds we can be assured that the Light is behind those clouds! We KNOW it to be true.

Accept the call of the Goddess to Shine the Light...don't wait for "something" outside of you to be there so you can Reflect it! That is a Lie! That keeps us trapped in the Darkness. Light the Candle within you! And if you feel your Light has Gone out or the Oil is running Low; be Assure it has not, but Reach out to Someone you Know who will Relight your Light; Reach out to your Pet, your Loved one; reach out to Goddess for She is the One Who lit the Light inside of you in the First Place!

Blessed be on this day we celebrate the Sun!